of space constrains us to leave unfinished these
few desultory remarks--slender contributions towards a subject which has
fallen sadly backward, and which, we grieve to say, was better
understood by the king of Siam in 1686 than by all the philosophers of
to-day. If, however, we have awakened in any rational mind an interest
in the symbolism of umbrellas--in any generous heart a more complete
sympathy with the dumb companion of his daily walk,--or in any grasping
spirit a pure notion of respectability strong enough to make him expend
his six-and-twenty shillings--we shall have deserved well of the world,
to say nothing of the many industrious persons employed in the
manufacture of the article.

FOOTNOTE:

[36] "This paper was written in collaboration with James Walter
Ferrier, and if reprinted this is to be stated, though his principal
collaboration was to lie back in an easy-chair and laugh."--[R. L. S.,
_Oct_. 25, 1894.]

V

THE PHILOSOPHY OF NOMENCLATURE

"How many Caesars and Pompeys, by mere inspirations of the names, have
been rendered worthy of them? And how many are there, who might have
done exceeding well in the world, had not their characters and spirits
been totally depressed and Nicodemus'd into nothing?"--"Tristram
Shandy," vol. i. chap. xix.

Such were the views of the late Walter Shandy, Esq., Turkey merchant. To
the best of my belief, Mr. Shandy is the first who fairly pointed out
the incalculable influence of nomenclature upon the whole life--who
seems first to have recognised the one child, happy in an heroic
appellation, soaring upwards on the wings of fortune, and the other,
like the dead sailor in his shotted hammock, haled down by sheer weight
of name into the abysses of social failure. Solomon possibly had his eye
on some such theory when he said that "a good name is better than
precious ointment"; and perhaps we may trace a similar spirit in the
compilers of the English Catechism, and the affectionate interest with
which they linger round the catechumen's name at the very threshold of
their work. But, be these as they may, I think no one can censure me for
appending, in pursuance of the expressed wish of his son, the Turkey
merchant's name to his system, and pronouncing, without further
preface, a short epitome of the "Shandean Philosophy of Nomenclature."

To begin, then: the influence of our name makes itself felt from the
very cradle. As a schoolboy