God, it shall
be so no longer; I will try somewhat more. So looking round about me, to
see if I was quite alone, I stepped into an adjoining copse, and could
scarce refrain falling on my knees, till I came to a proper place for
kneeling in. I then poured forth my whole soul and spirit to God; and
all my strength, and every member, every faculty was to the utmost
employed, for a considerable time, in the most agreeable as well as
useful duty. I would indeed have begun with my accustomed prayers, and
had repeated some words of them; when, as though against and contrary to
my design, I was carried away by such rapturous effusions that, to this
hour, when I reflect thereon, I cannot believe but I was moved to them
by a much more than human impulse. However, this ecstasy did not last
above a quarter of an hour; but it was considerably longer before my
spirits subsided to their usual frame. When I had a little composed
myself, how was I altered! how did I condemn myself for all my past
disquiet! what calm thanks did I return for the ease and satisfaction
of mind I then enjoyed! And coming to a small rivulet, I drank a hearty
draught of water and contentedly proceeded on my journey. I reached
Bristol about four o'clock in the afternoon. Having refreshed myself,
I went the same evening to the quay to inquire what ships were in the
river, whither bound, and when they would depart. My business was with
the sailors, of whom there were at that time great numbers there; but I
could meet with no employ, though I gave out I would gladly enter myself
before the mast. After I had done the best I could, but without success,
I returned to the little house I had dined at, and went to bed very
pensive. I did not forget my prayers; but I could by no means be roused
to such devotion as I felt in the morning. Next day I walked again
to the quay, asking all I met, who looked like seafaring men, for
employment; but could hear of none, there being many waiting for berths;
and I feared my appearance (which was not so mean as most of that sort
of gentry is) would prove no small disappointment to my preferment that
way. At last, being out of heart with my frequent repulses, I went to a
landing-place just by, and as I asked some sailors, who were putting two
gentlemen on shore, if they wanted a hand on board their ship, one of
the gentlemen, whom I afterwards found to be the master of a vessel
bound to the coast of Africa, turned back and looking earne