all of which looked in the
direction of my lost home; it had a number of low shoemaker's benches
ranged along three of its sides. Here my uncle and two of his sons made
boots. I was directed to one of the benches and began by being taught
how to use a waxed end and stitch the counters of bootlegs. Never in my
life before had I been pinned to one spot for any length of time save on
a school bench; never before set at any work that was not or that could
not be made half play. A deadly home-sickness at once seized upon me, of
which I could not be cured by all the kindness and encouragement of my
uncle and aunt. I was constantly looking out of the shop windows,
expecting some one to come and rescue me. Constantly I wept and could
not swallow my food for the lump in my throat; at last food was
loathsome and my eyes became so swollen with continual tears that I
could scarcely see to thread my needle. Thus I suffered for three weeks
and my young heart was wounded and broken past all cure. My nature was
changed from that time; a kind of depression and melancholy, took the
place of my natural gaiety. I can readily believe, such were my misery
and agony, that one might die of home-sickness. I recall it so well that
I can diagnose its symptoms which are like those of a fever. It comes
over one in paroxysms, followed by a great calm as from sudden cessation
of acute pain, then by a choking sensation, a terrible sinking of the
heart, down, down, all things swim in the convulsion of lost senses
until tears once more relieve the overwrought soul. To add to my misery
my two young cousins would have nothing to do with me. For the entire
three weeks I never spoke a word; the moment I tried I choked and burst
into tears. No wonder my cousins and other boys avoided me. Such a baby
was past their comprehension or tolerance. In my own natural place I
should have had no more mercy on such an one. It is remarkable how early
boys begin to trim each other into manly character; they instantly
discover and attack any little weakness, and with rough and ready hand
or tongue make the weakling or the upstart ashamed of himself. But no
treatment harsh or kind could cure a homesick child, and one day my
uncle said he was going to see my mother, and that I was to go with him.
Oh, how my spirits recovered themselves! I never thought of the return;
only to go, to be once more in my own home, with my own river, fields
and companions, filled me with ecstacy.