om from the other side. His wife who sat opposite to
him, tall, lean and prim always frowned on any levity at the table. It
was her opinion that we should eat our food in silence and as quickly as
possible, so that, as she often remarked, the table could be cleared and
the kitchen work not be delayed. To her great distress the conversation
often became so lively that the meal dragged, and various were her
devices for bringing back our attention to the business at hand. I had
some sense of the humor of the situation, and as I never took part in
the talk, I amused myself by exchanging winks with the pretty waitress.
She was the only person in the house near my own age. We were very good
friends; she cut me a little larger piece of pie than she served to the
others, darned my socks and called me "Sonny," and "curly head." She was
not averse to an arm around her waist, and I repaid her kindness in the
only currency I had--a kiss. However, I more enjoyed the society of the
students than I did hers. I could be in their company without being
noticed. No word escaped me and slowly, then, at length, overwhelmingly,
there was borne in upon me the crushing sense of the difference between
these young men and myself, their interests, expectations, future
careers and mine. Yet I saw no way out of my present situation. The
bitter seeds of unrest, and ambitions without opportunities, were at the
same time planted in a fruitful soil. When the soul of man is awakened,
not one but all its faculties awaken together. Hitherto the memory of my
past life had no existence and no interest. It was a blank page.

All at once, when most cast down and discouraged in my thought of the
future, that blank page of the past became illuminated and full of
delightful pictures and memories. I was entirely overcome by them. They
all pointed back to Bellingham, which I had not thought of since leaving
it. The attraction to the place became irresistible. It seemed as if
there I could recover myself and begin my life over again, continuing
all its joys, reuniting all its companionships. It is obvious to me now
that this was an evasive yet ingenuous effort to escape from myself, an
awakening that had come to me, which I knew not how to meet. I revolved
several plans for getting back to my native place and becoming a farmer.
None of these were practicable, and I determined to go, trusting to
chance to make the way plain. But even the going had difficulties. I
sol