ling with interpersonal
conflict.

In Solomon's Book of Proverbs, one of Solomon's main themes is drawing
a consistent distinction between the wise man and the foolish man. He
characterizes a foolish man as someone who neither asks for advise nor
accepts it. He further characterizes the foolish man as someone who is
scornful, divisive, quarrelsome, and mocking of other's efforts with
cynicism and sarcasm.

Solomon's advise for dealing with scornful people has three steps. The
first step is to try counseling with them in private, one on one.
Failing that, the second step is to counsel with them again, but with
two people, together, advising the third. The final step is to cease
relations.

Solomon's three steps are seen today in practical statesmanship. We
should remember that today's enemy is tomorrow's friend. Member
nations of the United Nations generally apply this same three-step
plan that ends in economic sanctions being applied by the United
Nations as a whole. Sometimes even ceasing relations with another is
not enough and force of arms must be taken to protect weaker neighbors
from aggression.

Whether with neighbors or nations, armed conflict is ultimately
sorrowful. It is an admission that patient diplomacy and logic have
not been successful. It is premeditated violence to protect the weak.
Many people, still developing in religious maturity and understanding,
feel torment when violence is necessary, because their religious
understanding does not extend beyond helping "all" others. It is a
question of who is helped and why. Some people too choose to pass from
this life as martyrs. Others feel compelled to stay until the end and
protect the weak like a shepherd keeping predatory dogs away from the
helpless lambs. There may be a time for each course of action.

The confusion between religion and forcing our will on others is
caused by our understanding of what helping others means. If we help
others to hurt someone, we become harmful ourselves. We become
"Enablers" [1] to those hurting others. Without our consent, the
aggressor could not have taken advantage of his weaker neighbor.

The Eastern religions, particularly Zen Buddhism, which is intimately
associated with the Samurai warrior of Japan, take great care to teach
tranquility and self-control in the use of force. Anger is not a part
of thoughtful action.

Aikido, The Way of Harmony, teaches tranquility in the use of force,
and compares it to th