monly
perilous, and were attended with the loss of the child, bore her
sufferings with the greatest composure, because, at any minute she could
send a message to, and hear from, me. If she had gone to Botley, leaving
me in that state of anxiety in which she saw me, I am satisfied that she
would have died; and that event taking place at such a distance from me,
how was I to contemplate her corpse, surrounded by her distracted
children, and to have escaped death, or madness, myself? If such was not
the effect of this merciless act of the government towards me, that
amiable body may be well assured that I have _taken and recorded the
will for the deed_, and that as such it will live in my memory as long
as that memory shall last.

170. I make no apology for this account of my own conduct, because
example is better than precept, and because I believe that my example
may have weight with many thousands, as it has had in respect to early
rising, abstinence, sobriety, industry, and mercy towards the poor. It
is not, then, dangling about after a wife; it is not the loading her
with baubles and trinkets; it is not the jaunting of her about from show
to show, and from what is called pleasure to pleasure. It is none of
these that endears you to her: it is the adherence to that part of the
promise you have made her: 'With my _body_ I thee _worship_;' that is to
say, _respect_ and _honour_ by personal attention and acts of affection.
And remember, that the greatest possible proof that you can give of real
and solid affection is to give her your _time_, when not wanted in
matters of business; when not wanted for the discharge of some _duty_,
either towards the public or towards private persons. Amongst duties of
this sort, we must, of course, in some ranks and circumstances of life,
include the intercourse amongst friends and neighbours, which may
frequently and reasonably call the husband from his home: but what are
we to think of the husband who is in the habit of leaving his own
fire-side, after the business of the day is over, and seeking
promiscuous companions in the ale or the coffee house? I am told that,
in France, it is rare to meet with a husband who does not spend every
evening of his life in what is called a _caffe_; that is to say, a place
for no other purpose than that of gossipping, drinking and gaming. And
it is with great sorrow that I acknowledge that many English husbands
indulge too much in a similar habit. Drinki