T PRIZE JUBILEE JOKE.--_Mem. for Travellers contemplating
a first visit to the Continent_.--Being raw to the business, get
Cook'd. Depend upon it, you won't be "done."

* * * * *

"THE HUNDRED BEST BOOKS."--_Punch's_ Half-Yearly Volumes from the
commencement, i.e., July 17, 1841, to June 27, 1891.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SOCIAL AGONIES.

_Fair Visitor_ (_to Hostess_). "WHAT A DELIGHTFUL CONCERT YOU GAVE
US LAST WEDNESDAY, DEAR MRS. JONES! SUCH LOVELY MUSIC!--SUCH SMART
PEOPLE! EVERYBODY ONE KNOWS, YOU KNOW!"

[_Mrs. Jones's Aunt Tabitha (from whom she has great expectations)
hears of this delightful Concert for the first time!_]]

* * * * *

"GOOD-BYE, GRANDMAMMA!"

(_A LONG WAY AFTER "CHILDE HAROLD_.")

Adieu, adieu. Old Albion's shore!
I leave, to bound the blue.
My Yacht lies yonder! 'Tis a bore,
But I _must_ part from you.
I sniff the brine, I love the sea;
Half Englishman am I.
Farewell to England, and to thee,
Dear Grandmamma--good-bye!

I leave your isle, the truth to tell,
With qualified regret.
July in London would be well,
But for the heavy wet.
The soaking shower, the sudden squall,
Spare not Imperial "tiles."
May it be dry when next I call,
Your slushiest of isles!

Yet I've enjoyed my visit, much,
In spite of wet and wind.
I with JOHN BULL have been in touch;
_You_ have been passing kind.
My father and grandfather gone
Once trod your city sad;
Now I the daring deed have done,
And--it is not half bad.

That Opera Show was quite a sight;
Your Sheriff HARRIS--well--
AUGUSTUS, after Actium's fight,
Was scarce a greater swell.
The long parade, led by the Blues,
Gave _me_ the blues again.
Not that the citizen were screws,
No, Grand'ma, 'twas that rain!

I--ahem! _blessed_ it fervently,
Emperors must not complain;
But do, _do_ keep your Babylon dry,
When I come back again.
For Garden Parties, Shows, Reviews,
And civic functions pale,
When water soaks the stoutest shoes,
And it blows half a gale.

Your Lord MAYOR and his liveried lot,
_They_ know a thing or two.
Speeches of course are always rot,
But then--the skies were blue!
As for your Crystal Palace--ah!
Your pride I would not shock,
But you owe much, dear Grandmamma,
To PAXTON and to