real education; it was
only show: she got the words by listening in the dining-room and
drawing-room when there was company, and by going with the children to
Sunday-school and listening there; and whenever she heard a large word
she said it over to herself many times, and so was able to keep it
until there was a dogmatic gathering in the neighborhood, then she
would get it off, and surprise and distress them all, from pocket-pup
to mastiff, which rewarded her for all her trouble. If there was a
stranger he was nearly sure to be suspicious, and when he got his
breath again he would ask her what it meant. And she always told him.
He was never expecting this, but thought he would catch her; so when
she told him, he was the one that looked ashamed, whereas he had
thought it was going to be she. The others were always waiting for
this, and glad of it and proud of her, for they knew what was going to
happen, because they had had experience. When she told the meaning of
a big word they were all so taken up with admiration that it never
occurred to any dog to doubt if it was the right one; and that was
natural, because, for one thing, she answered up so promptly that it
seemed like a dictionary speaking, and for another thing, where could
they find out whether it was right or not? for she was the only
cultivated dog there was. By-and-by, when I was older, she brought
home the word Unintellectual, one time, and worked it pretty hard
all the week at different gatherings, making much unhappiness and
despondency; and it was at this time that I noticed that during that
week she was asked for the meaning at eight different assemblages, and
flashed out a fresh definition every time, which showed me that she
had more presence of mind than culture, though I said nothing, of
course. She had one word which she always kept on hand, and ready,
like a life-preserver, a kind of emergency word to strap on when she
was likely to get washed overboard in a sudden way--that was the word
Synonymous. When she happened to fetch out a long word which had had
its day weeks before and its prepared meanings gone to her dump-pile,
if there was a stranger there of course it knocked him groggy for a
couple of minutes, then he would come to, and by that time she would
be away down the wind on another tack, and not expecting anything; so
when he'd hail and ask her to cash in, I (the only dog on the inside
of her game) could see her canvas flicker a moment,--