s sharp as a glover's needle, wherewith he used to cut
purses; another with some kind of bitter stuff, which he threw into the
eyes of those he met; another with clotburrs, penned with little geese' or
capon's feathers, which he cast upon the gowns and caps of honest people,
and often made them fair horns, which they wore about all the city,
sometimes all their life. Very often, also, upon the women's French hoods
would he stick in the hind part somewhat made in the shape of a man's
member. In another, he had a great many little horns full of fleas and
lice, which he borrowed from the beggars of St. Innocent, and cast them
with small canes or quills to write with into the necks of the daintiest
gentlewomen that he could find, yea, even in the church, for he never
seated himself above in the choir, but always sat in the body of the church
amongst the women, both at mass, at vespers, and at sermon. In another, he
used to have good store of hooks and buckles, wherewith he would couple men
and women together that sat in company close to one another, but especially
those that wore gowns of crimson taffeties, that, when they were about to
go away, they might rend all their gowns. In another, he had a squib
furnished with tinder, matches, stones to strike fire, and all other
tackling necessary for it. In another, two or three burning glasses,
wherewith he made both men and women sometimes mad, and in the church put
them quite out of countenance; for he said that there was but an
antistrophe, or little more difference than of a literal inversion, between
a woman folle a la messe and molle a la fesse, that is, foolish at the mass
and of a pliant buttock.

In another, he had a good deal of needles and thread, wherewith he did a
thousand little devilish pranks. One time, at the entry of the palace unto
the great hall, where a certain grey friar or cordelier was to say mass to
the counsellors, he did help to apparel him and put on his vestments, but
in the accoutring of him he sewed on his alb, surplice, or stole, to his
gown and shirt, and then withdrew himself when the said lords of the court
or counsellors came to hear the said mass; but when it came to the Ite,
missa est, that the poor frater would have laid by his stole or surplice,
as the fashion then was, he plucked off withal both his frock and shirt,
which were well sewed together, and thereby stripping himself up to the
very shoulders showed his bel vedere to all the