u are sick, as I do very well perceive by your physiognomy,
and I know the disease. You have a flux in your purse; but take no care.
I have yet sevenpence halfpenny that never saw father nor mother, which
shall not be wanting, no more than the pox, in your necessity. Whereunto
he answered me, Well, well; for money one day I shall have but too much,
for I have a philosopher's stone which attracts money out of men's purses
as the adamant doth iron. But will you go with me to gain the pardons?
said he. By my faith, said I, I am no great pardon-taker in this world--if
I shall be any such in the other, I cannot tell; yet let us go, in God's
name; it is but one farthing more or less; But, said he, lend me then a
farthing upon interest. No, no, said I; I will give it you freely, and
from my heart. Grates vobis dominos, said he.

So we went along, beginning at St. Gervase, and I got the pardons at the
first box only, for in those matters very little contenteth me. Then did I
say my small suffrages and the prayers of St. Brigid; but he gained them
all at the boxes, and always gave money to everyone of the pardoners. From
thence we went to Our Lady's Church, to St. John's, to St. Anthony's, and
so to the other churches, where there was a banquet (bank) of pardons. For
my part, I gained no more of them, but he at all the boxes kissed the
relics, and gave at everyone. To be brief, when we were returned, he
brought me to drink at the castle-tavern, and there showed me ten or twelve
of his little bags full of money, at which I blessed myself, and made the
sign of the cross, saying, Where have you recovered so much money in so
little time? Unto which he answered me that he had taken it out of the
basins of the pardons. For in giving them the first farthing, said he, I
put it in with such sleight of hand and so dexterously that it appeared to
be a threepence; thus with one hand I took threepence, ninepence, or
sixpence at the least, and with the other as much, and so through all the
churches where we have been. Yea but, said I, you damn yourself like a
snake, and are withal a thief and sacrilegious person. True, said he, in
your opinion, but I am not of that mind; for the pardoners do give me it,
when they say unto me in presenting the relics to kiss, Centuplum accipies,
that is, that for one penny I should take a hundred; for accipies is spoken
according to the manner of the Hebrews, who use the future tense instead of
the