noose, you know,' said Mr Folair, a little crest-fallen.

'The noose, sir?' retorted Mr Lillyvick. 'Does any man dare to speak to
me of a noose, and Henrietta Pe--'

'Lillyvick,' suggested Mr Crummles.

'--And Henrietta Lillyvick in the same breath?' said the collector. 'In
this house, in the presence of Mr and Mrs Crummles, who have brought
up a talented and virtuous family, to be blessings and phenomenons, and
what not, are we to hear talk of nooses?'

'Folair,' said Mr Crummles, deeming it a matter of decency to be
affected by this allusion to himself and partner, 'I'm astonished at
you.'

'What are you going on in this way at me for?' urged the unfortunate
actor. 'What have I done?'

'Done, sir!' cried Mr Lillyvick, 'aimed a blow at the whole framework of
society--'

'And the best and tenderest feelings,' added Crummles, relapsing into
the old man.

'And the highest and most estimable of social ties,' said the collector.
'Noose! As if one was caught, trapped into the married state, pinned by
the leg, instead of going into it of one's own accord and glorying in
the act!'

'I didn't mean to make it out, that you were caught and trapped, and
pinned by the leg,' replied the actor. 'I'm sorry for it; I can't say
any more.'

'So you ought to be, sir,' returned Mr Lillyvick; 'and I am glad to hear
that you have enough of feeling left to be so.'

The quarrel appearing to terminate with this reply, Mrs Lillyvick
considered that the fittest occasion (the attention of the company being
no longer distracted) to burst into tears, and require the assistance of
all four bridesmaids, which was immediately rendered, though not without
some confusion, for the room being small and the table-cloth long, a
whole detachment of plates were swept off the board at the very first
move. Regardless of this circumstance, however, Mrs Lillyvick refused
to be comforted until the belligerents had passed their words that the
dispute should be carried no further, which, after a sufficient show of
reluctance, they did, and from that time Mr Folair sat in moody silence,
contenting himself with pinching Nicholas's leg when anything was said,
and so expressing his contempt both for the speaker and the sentiments
to which he gave utterance.

There were a great number of speeches made; some by Nicholas, and some
by Crummles, and some by the collector; two by the Master Crummleses in
returning thanks for themselves, and one by the phenomeno