_Hindenburg._ !!! !!! !!!

_The Prince._ You needn't look so stuffy, dear old thing. I'm going. But
remember _I_ shall be your Emperor some day; and then what shall I do with
you? I know; I shall have you taught French.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DYNASTIC AMENITIES.

LITTLE WILLIE (_of Prussia_). "AS ONE CROWN PRINCE TO ANOTHER, ISN'T YOUR
HINDENBURG LINE GETTING A BIT SHAKY?"

RUPPRECHT (_of Bavaria_). "WELL, AS ONE CROWN PRINCE TO ANOTHER, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR HOHENZOLLERN LINE?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Sergeant._ "PUT YOUR THUMBS DOWN BEHIND THE SEAMS OF YOUR
TROUSERS, NUMBER SIX! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THE SEAMS OF YOUR TROUSERS
ARE PUT THERE FOR?"]

* * * * *

CAUTIONARY TALES FOR THE ARMY.

I.

_Sergt.-Instructor George Bellairs, who imagined himself to be a master
of strong language._

Sergt.-Instructor George Bellairs
Prided himself on dreadful swears,
And half the night and all the day
He thought of frightful things to say.
On his recruits in serried squad
He'd work them off; he said, "You clod!"
"You put!" "You closhy put!" (a curse he
Got from _The Everlasting Mercy_,
Which shows one can't take care enough,
Not knowing who may read one's stuff).
With joy he saw his victims quiver,
With wicked joy beheld them shiver.
Six stretchers in attendance waited
To carry off the men he slated.

But early in the War there came
A squad of men of rowing fame.
With them, his choicest oaths he found
Fell upon bored and barren ground.
He lavished all his hoard, full tale;
They did not blench, they did not quail.
His plethora of plums he spilt;
They did not wince, they did not wilt.
Poor fellow! As they left him there,
He heard one beardless boy declare,
"Jove! what a milk-and-water chap!
I thought non-coms. had oaths on tap."
Another said, "We'd soon be fit
If we were only cursed a bit!"

Sergt.-Instructor George Bellairs,
He stands and stares, and stares _and stares_;
Then (he who late so freely cursed)
Tried to express himself and--burst!

* * * * *

SPRING FASHIONS FOR MEN.

"Lord ----, who managed to be present, wore a festive air with a
button-hole of lilies of the valley."--_Ramsey Courier._

* * * * *

"LOST, between Huddersfield and Sa