evacuation of the Siegfried Line, to the east of Douai, and the
re-establishment of a new measure of liquidity. British aeroplanes (of
which 133 have been brought down according to plan) have been making long
flights over our territory with a view to observation of the Hindenburg
Line--on the left bank of the Meuse. It is said that two of our machines
are missing, but a recount has been ordered. There must be some mistake.

... A shrewd blow has been dealt to the British by our abandonment, in
agreement with the prospectus, of the Beckmesser Line. All has gone
according to our hopes, our longings and our prayers. We have crossed the
Meuse.

... The secret is out at last. The Hindenburg Line, about which there has
been so much speculation, is now known to run through Liege, Luxemburg and
Metz. According to schedule we are now approaching this position, which has
only been attained by an amazing display of spontaneous volatility on our
part. The fighting of the last few weeks, in the neighbourhood of the
Pogner, Sieglinda, Kurvenal and Lohengrin Lines, fell out as had been
prognosticated by us.

... The importance of Cologne, as the main bastion of the impregnable
Hindenburg Line, cannot be over-rated. Our strategical, voluntary and
gratuitous crossing of the Rhine was carried out according to _agenda_....

* * * * *

THE IMPERFECT ECONOMIST.

"I wear my very oldest suits,
I go about in shocking boots,
And (bar potatoes) feed on roots
And various cereal substitutes
For wheat, and non-imported fruits.
No meat my table now pollutes,
But, though I spare warm-blooded brutes,
I sometimes sup on frogs and newts.

I often spend laborious days
Supported by a little maize;
And rice prepared in divers ways
My appetite at luncheon stays.
From sugar I avert my gaze;
Unsweetened tea my thirst allays;
I never go to any plays
Or smoke expensive Henry Clays."

_Our excellent Economist_
_His pet extravagance forgets,_
_Which rather spoils his little list--_
_His fifty daily cigarettes._

* * * * *

[Illustration: "SWOOPING FROM THE WEST."

[It is the intention of our new Ally to assist us in the patrolling of the
Atlantic.]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: ON AN OUTLYING FORT.

_Orderly Officer._ "ANYTHING SERIOUS TO REPORT, SERGEANT?"

_Sergeant._ "GUNNER JONES FEELS 'OMESICK, SIR