S."

_Lady Patroness_ (_Registry Office of Charitable Society_). "AND WHY ARE
YOU LEAVING YOUR PRESENT PLACE?"

_Small Applicant._ "PLEASE, 'M, THE LADY SAID SHE CAN DO WITH A LESS
EXPERIENCED SERVANT!"]

* * * * *

AMONG THE AMATEURS.

No. II.--PREPARATION.

SCENE.--_The Theatre of the provincial town of Blankbury. A company of
Amateurs, the "Thespian Wanderers," are rehearsing the well-known Comedy
of "Heads or Tails?" Amongst them are our friends_ BUCKSTONE BOLDERO,
TIFFINGTON SPINKS, CHARLIE GUSHBY, _and_ HARRY HALL. _Besides these, we
may note_ Colonel THOMAS CLUMK, _an ex-military Amateur, who devotes
more time to acting small parts and talking big about them than he ever
did to soldiering. Then there is_ ANDREW JARP, _a portly and elderly
partner in a considerable firm of Solicitors, and an actor who, by long
practice, has grown perfect in the part of a Family Butler. His office
is in the City, and he drives down to it every morning in a private
brougham, fitted with a looking-glass, by the help of which he studies
the air and deportment characteristic of a modern Seneschal. He is a man
of few words, off as well as on the stage; but his eyes flash fury if he
hears his favourite Art derided by the scoffer._ HORATIO SPUFFIL _is
also in the cast. He has dabbled in literature, but has lately abandoned
such frivolity, and been elected a Member of the London County Council.
A few rising Amateur Supers complete the male portion of the cast. The
Ladies' parts are played by professional Actresses, of the Theatres
Royal generally, who happen to be, as they pleasantly express it in
their advertisements in the "Era," "resting"_--Miss DOROTHY SHUTTLE,
Miss AMELIA SLIMPER, _who are new to the Amateurs,_ and KITTY LARKINGS,
_who has "assisted" the "Thespian Wanderers" before._ BOLDERO _is Stage
Manager. The Stage is occupied by_ SPINKS (_as_ Colonel DEBENHAM, _a
retired Indian Officer_), GUSHBY (_as_ TOM TILBURY, _a comic Country
Squire_), _and_ DOROTHY SHUTTLE (_as_ BELINDA, _Nurserymaid in the
family of_ Lord _and_ Lady SHORTHORN, _represented respectively by_
BOLDERO _and_ Miss AMELIA).

_Boldero_ (_from the front of the house_). Stop a moment! You know we
really must settle what we are to do about those two children that
_Belinda's_ got to wheel on in the double perambulator. I asked the
Duchess of MIDDLESEX to lend us her twins for a couple of nights, but
she writes to say they've ju