feels that in real life the guest would clutch
hold of the footman and say, "Half a mo', old chap, I haven't _nearly_
finished;" but the actor is better schooled than this. Besides, the
thing is coming back again as chicken directly.

But it is the cigarette which chiefly has brought the modern drama to
its present state of perfection. Without the stage cigarette many an
epigram would pass unnoticed, many an actor's hands would be much more
noticeable; and the man who works the fireproof safety curtain would
lose even the small amount of excitement which at present attaches to
his job.

Now although it is possible, in the case of a few men at the top of the
profession, to leave the conduct of the cigarette entirely to the actor,
you will find it much more satisfactory to insert in the stage
directions the particular movements (with match and so forth) that you
wish carried out. Let us assume that _Lord Arthur_ asks _Lord John_ what
a cynic is--the question of what a cynic is having arisen quite
naturally in the course of the plot. Let us assume further that you wish
_Lord John_ to reply, "A cynic is a man who knows the price of
everything and the value of nothing." It has been said before, but you
may feel that it is quite time it was said again; besides, for all the
audience knows, _Lord John_ may simply be quoting. Now this answer, even
if it comes quite fresh to the stalls, will lose much of its effect if
it is said without the assistance of a cigarette. Try it for yourself.

_Lord John._ A cynic is a man who, etc....

Rotten. Now try again.

_Lord John._ A cynic is a man who, etc.... (_Lights cigarette_).

No, even that is not good. Once more:--

_Lord John (lighting cigarette)._ A cynic is a man who, etc.

Better, but leaves much too much to the actor.

Well, I see I must tell you.

_Lord John (taking out gold cigarette case from his left-hand upper
waistcoat pocket)._ A cynic, my dear Arthur (_he opens case
deliberately, puts cigarette in mouth, and extracts gold match-box from
right-hand trouser_) is a man who (_strikes match_) knows the price of
(_lights cigarette_)--everything, and (_standing with match in one hand
and cigarette in the other_) the value of---- pff (_blows out match_) of
(_inhales deeply from cigarette and blows out a cloud of
smoke_)--nothing.

It makes a different thing of it altogether. Of course on the actual
night the match may refuse to strike, and _Lord John_ may have to go