sed him in the storm.
Clutching his trumpet in a fearless hand,
The damp explorer struggled to the land;
Then set the trumpet to his lips and blew
A blast that echoed all the wide world through,
And in a tone that made the nations quiver
Proclaimed himself the finder of a river.
Maps, he declared, were made by doddering fools
Who knew no better or defied the rules,
While he, the great Progressive, traced the course
Of waters mostly flowing to their source.
Emerged at last and buoyed up with the sure hope
Of geographic fame, he made for Europe;
Flew to Madrid, and there awhile he tarried
Till KERMIT went (good luck to K!) and married.
Next London sees him, and with loud good will
Yields to the mighty tamer of Brazil,
And hears and cheers the while by his own fiat he
Lectures our Geographical Society.
Soon to his native land behold him go
To take a hand in quelling Mexico.
Does WILSON want him? Well, I hardly know.

* * * * *

IN THE NAME OF PEACE.

SIR,--I read with intense satisfaction that at the Peace Ball at the
Albert Hall last week the lady representing Britannia carried a palm
branch in place of the customary trident. This, I venture to think, is a
step in the right direction. For many years, from the pulpits and
platforms not only of our own land but of America, I have advocated a
substitution of peaceful objects for the weapons of bloodshed with which
so many of our allegorical figures are encumbered. I still wait for some
artist to depict the patron saint of this fair land of ours, not
attacking the dragon with a cruel sword, but offering it in all
brotherliness an orange, let us say, or a bath bun.

But, Sir, one feature of this ball (putting aside for a moment the many
reprehensible characteristics of all such entertainments) I must and do
protest against. What do I read in the daily press? When it was desired
to clear the floor, "a brigade of Guards, by subtle movements, drove the
masqueraders, who were to form the audience, behind the barricades."
Now, were I a member of the House of Commons--as some day I may be--I
would make it my business to stand up in my place and fearlessly demand
of the Minister for War an explanation as to how these men of blood came
to be admitted to a Peace festival. Was it with his knowledge that they
were present? and, if so, was it with his consent? I should also desire
to know whether the cost of the e