sational neighbour is saying. In time of
political stress this useful, as preventing lapse into controversy at
the table. Homeward bound from his last Antarctic trip, ERNEST
SHACKLETON discovered three towering peaks of snow and ice. One he named
Mount Asquith; another Mount Henry Lucy; a third Mount Harcourt.

Now a great shipping company, having business on the West Coast of
Africa, making welcome discovery of a deep water port in the estuary of
the Bonny River, have named it Port Harcourt.

This concatenation of circumstance more striking than the lonely
eminence of a pitch in the hall of Madame Tussaud, and a name flaunting
on her sandwich-board. Moreover than which, as grammarians say, SARK has
evidently been misinformed. My sandwich-board man has heard nothing of
reported addition to our Valhalla. Certainly his boards do not confirm
the pleasing rumour.

_Business done._--HOME SECRETARY announces intention of Government to go
to fountain-head of trouble with Militant Suffragists. Will proceed by
civil or criminal action directed against the persons who subscribe
sinews of war. Loud cheers from both sides approved the plan. Followed
at short interval by sharp report distinctly heard in Lobby. Was it echo
of the strident cheer? No. It was the ladies demonstrating afresh their
eligibility for exercise of the suffrage by attempting to blow up the
Coronation Chair in Westminster Abbey.

* * * * *

"Candidates for divinity degrees at Cambridge should, it is
proposed, be required to give evidence of a competent general
knowledge of Christian theology."--_Times._

Every now and then the authorities get these bright ideas, and thus our
old Universities keep up to date.

* * * * *

From a list of entries for the golf championship:--

"Geo. Oke (Honor Oke)."--_Dundee Courier._

We will if he wins.

* * * * *

"How can you have precisely the same cottage on the north and the
south side of a road? In the one case the larder is to the south,
and the butler is melting."

_Manchester Guardian._

He should return to the wine cellar.

* * * * *

RED HEAD AND WHITE PAWS.

[_Why should the popular magazines monopolise all the tragic animal
sketches? Mr. PUNCH'S menagerie is just as ferocious._]

Silence reigned in the woods! Silence! Deep silence! Save for the
chortle of the night