decidedly
conclusive, as these points were; yet they did not convince me that I
ought to go forward in this service, if the Spirit's leading were not
in connexion with them. I therefore gave myself to prayer. I prayed
day after day, without saying anything to any human being. I prayed
two and twenty days, without even mentioning it to my dear wife. On
that very day, when I did mention it to her, and on which I had come
to the conclusion, after three weeks' prayer and consideration in the
fear of God, to establish another Orphan-House, I received from A. B.
50l. and 1l. through him from a sister. What a striking confirmation
that the Lord will help, though the necessities should increase more
and more. At last, on the 24th day, having been now for several days
fully assured, that God would have me go forward in this service, I
went to inquire whether Mr. and Miss G. still wished to give up the
house. But here I found an apparent hinderance. Having heard no wish
expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the
Orphan-Houses, with whom Miss G. had communicated, not having given
her the least reason to think that I should do so, Mr. and Miss G.
their altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house.
However, I was to call again in a week, when I should receive an
answer. I was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. "Lord,
if Thou hast no need of another Orphan-House, I have none," was the
burden of my prayer. I was willing to do God's will, yea to delight
myself in His will. And just on this very ground, because I knew I
sought not my own honour but the Lord's; because I knew I was not
serving myself, but the Lord in this thing; and because I knew that
with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration I
had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during
which I had been thus waiting upon the Lord, come to the conclusion
that it was the will of God I should go forward in this service: for,
these reasons I felt sure (notwithstanding what Mr. and Miss G. had
told me), that I should have the house. I also especially judged,
that thus it would be, because I was quite in peace, when I heard of
the obstacle: a plain proof that I was not in self-will going on in
this matter, but according to the leading of the Holy Ghost; for if
according to my natural mind I had sought to enlarge the work, I
should have been excited and uncomfortable when I met with this
obstacle.