r chuck
An inkpot at the jury.

So with the Hun: you might assume
He would exert his homely wits
To mitigate the heavy doom
That else would break him all to bits;
Yet he behaves as one possessed,
Rampaging like a bull of Bashan,
Which, as I think, is not the best
Means of conciliation.

For when the wild beast, held and bound,
Ceases to plunge and rave and snort,
The Bench, I hope, will pass some sound
Remarks on this contempt of court;
The plea for mercy, urged too late,
Should prove a negligible cipher,
And when the sentence seals his fate
He'll get at least a lifer.

O.S.

* * * * *

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

(_The KAISER and Count BERNSTORFF._)

_The Kaiser_ (_concluding a tirade_). And so, in spite of my
superhuman forbearance, this is what it has come to. Germany is
smacked in the face in view of the whole world--yes, I repeat it, is
smacked in the face, and by a nation which is not a nation at all, but
a sweeping together of the worst elements in all the other nations,
a country whose navy is ludicrous and whose army does not exist; and
you, Count, have the audacity to come here into my presence and tell
me that, with the careful instructions given to you by my Government
and by myself, you were not able to prevent such an end to the
negotiations? It is a thing that cannot be calmly contemplated. Even
I, who have learnt perhaps more thoroughly than other men to govern my
temper--even I feel strangely moved, for I know how deplorable will be
the effect of this on our Allies and on the other neutral Powers.
Our enemies, too, will be exalted by it and thus the War will be
prolonged. No, Count, at such a moment one does not appear before
one's Emperor with a smiling face.

_Count B._ God knows, your Majesty, that it is not I who have a
smiling face. At such a moment there could be no reason for it. But
your Majesty will remember, in justice to myself, that I have not
ceased to warn your Majesty from the very beginning that unless
something actual and definite was conceded to the feeling of the
United States trouble would surely come. First there was the treatment
of Belgium--

_The Kaiser_. Bah! Don't talk to me of Belgium and the Belgians. No
more ungrateful race has ever infested the earth. Besides, did I not
say that my heart bled for Louvain?

_Count B._ The Americans, your Majesty, had the bad taste not to
belie