e on hoard ship at intervals of ten
minutes: it is horrifying to see the quantity of food the elderly people
consume.) To prevent further hostilities I took care to be always in the
way when the doctor encountered Sholto afterwards. I cannot imagine Ned
involving himself in such a paltry squabble. It is odd how things come
about. I used to take Sholto's genius for granted, and think a great
deal of it. In another sense, I used to take Ned's genius for granted,
and think nothing of it. Now I have found out in a single fortnight that
we saw all of Sholto that there was to be seen. His reserves of talent
existed only in our imagination. He has absolutely no sense of humor;
and he is always grumbling. Neither the servants, nor the food, nor the
rooms, nor the wine, satisfy him. Imagine how this comes home to me,
who, from not having heard grumbling for two years, had forgotten that
men ever were guilty of it. I flirted a little, a very little, with the
doctor; not because I meant anything serious, but because it amused me
and made the trip pleasant. Sholto will not understand this. One day, on
board, I was indiscreet enough to ask Sholto the use of a piece of
machinery belonging to the ship. Ned would have known, or, if he had
not, would very soon have found out. Sholto didnt know, and was weak
enough to pretend that he did; so he snubbed me by saying that I could
not understand it. This put me on my mettle; and I asked the surgeon
that afternoon about it. The surgeon didnt know, and said so; but he
appealed to the first officer, who explained it. I intended to revenge
myself on Sholto by retailing the explanation to him next day; but
unfortunately, whether through the first officer's want of perspicuity
or my own stupidity, I was not a bit the wiser for the explanation.

"I can tell you nothing as to what we are likely to do next. As Sholto
has given up all his prospects for me, I cannot honorably desert him. I
know now that I have ruined myself for nothing, and I must at least try
to hide from him that he has done likewise. I can see that he is not
happy; but he tries so desperately to persuade himself that he is, and
clings so to the idea that the world is well lost for me, that I have
not the heart to undeceive him. So we are still lovers; and, cynical
though it sounds, I make him a great deal happier in my insincerity than
I could if I really loved him, because I humor him with a cunning quite
incompatible with passion.