I thought my first duty
was to leave Ned free, and to free myself, at all hazards; and so I did
not dwell on the feelings and interests of others as much as I perhaps
ought to have done. There is one point about which I am especially
anxious. It never occurred to me before I went that people might say
that my going was Ned's fault, and that he had treated me badly. You
must contradict this with all your might and main if you hear it even
hinted at.

"There is no use in putting off the confession any longer, Nelly: I have
made an utter fool of myself. _I wish I were back with Ned again_.
There! what do you think of that? Now for another great confession, and
a most humiliating one. Sholto is a--I dont know what epithet is fair. I
suppose I have no right to call him an impostor merely because we were
foolish enough to overrate him. But I can hardly believe now that we
ever really thought that there were great qualities and powers latent
beneath his proud reserve. Ned, I know, never believed in Sholto; and I,
in my infinite wisdom, set that down to his not understanding him. Ned
was right, as usual. If you want to see how selfish people are, and how
skin-deep fashionable politeness is, take a voyage. Go with a picked
company of the nice people you have met for an hour or so at a dinner or
an at-home; and see how different they will appear when they have been
cooped up in a ship with you day and night for a week. An ocean steamer
is the next worst thing to the Palace of Truth. Poor Sholto did not
stand the ordeal. He was ridiculously distant in his manner to the rest
of the passengers, and in little matters at table and so forth he was
really just as selfish as he could be. He was impatient because I was
ill the first two days, and afterwards he seemed to think that I ought
not to speak to anyone but himself. The doctor, who was very attentive
to me, was his particular aversion; and it was on his account that we
had our first quarrel, the upshot of which was a scene between them,
which I overheard. One very fine day, when all the passengers were on
deck, Sholto met the doctor in the saloon, and offered him a guinea for
his attendance on me, telling him in the most offensively polite way
that I would not trouble him for any further services. The doctor
retorted very promptly and concisely; and though what he said was not
dignified, I sympathized with him, and took care to be very friendly
with him at dinner. (Meals take plac