I now do. Had I possessed a little
more wisdom and more forbearance, we might have been happy. I
wished, when I was just married to have remained in the country,
particularly till my pecuniary embarrassments were over. I knew the
society of London; I knew the characters of many who are called
ladies, with whom Lady Byron would necessarily have to associate, and
I dreaded her contact with them. But I have too much of my mother
about me to be dictated to; I like freedom from constraint; I hate
artificial regulations: my conduct has always been dictated by my
own feelings, and Lady Byron was quite the creature of rules. She
was not permitted either to ride, or run, or walk, but as the
physician prescribed. She was not suffered to go out when I wished
to go: and then the old house was a mere ghost-house, I dreamed of
ghosts and thought of them waking. It was an existence I could not
support." Here Lord Byron broke off abruptly, saying, "I hate to
speak of my family affairs, though I have been compelled to talk
nonsense concerning them to some of my butterfly visitors, glad on
any terms to get rid of their importunities. I long to be again on
the mountains. I am fond of solitude, and should never talk
nonsense, if I always found plain men to talk to."

CHAPTER XXX

Reflections on his domestic Verses--Consideration of his Works--"The
Corsair"--Probabilities of the Character and Incidents of the Story--
On the Difference between poetical Invention and moral Experience:
illustrated by the Difference between the Genius of Shakespeare and
that of Byron

The task just concluded may disappoint the expectations of some of my
readers, but I would rather have said less than so much, could so
little have been allowed; for I have never been able to reconcile to
my notions of propriety, the exposure of domestic concerns which the
world has no right claim to know, and can only urge the plea of
curiosity for desiring to see explained. The scope of my undertaking
comprehends only the public and intellectual character of Lord Byron;
every word that I have found it necessary to say respecting his
private affairs has been set down with reluctance; nor should I have
touched so freely on his failings, but that the consequences have
deeply influenced his poetical conceptions.

There is, however, one point connected with his conjugal differences
which cannot be overlooked, nor noticed without animadversion. He
was too