the drains. What happened?"

"The doctor refused to act, of course," said the Major.

"Naturally," said Meldon; "he didn't care about bringing typhoid into
the town."

"You'd have thought Simpkins would have dropped it then, but he didn't.
He reported the doctor to the Board of Guardians for neglect of duty."

"We're getting on," said Meldon, taking a note on a fresh sheet of
paper. "You started out to prove that Simpkins is a meddlesome ass.
You've got half way. He's certainly an ass. Didn't he know that Doyle
was chairman of the Board of Guardians?"

"He must have known that, of course."

"Then he's an ass. No one who wasn't an ass could possibly expect
Doyle to pass a vote of censure on the doctor for not prosecuting him
about his drains. You needn't elaborate that point further. I admit
it. But I don't see yet that you've proved any actual malice. Lots of
quite good men are asses, and mean to do what's right. Simpkins may
have been acting from a mistaken sense of duty."

"He wasn't. He was acting from a fiendish delight in worrying
peaceable people."

"Prove that," said Meldon, "and I'll make the man sorry for himself.
There's no crime I know more detestable than nagging and worrying with
the intention of making other people uncomfortable. In a properly
civilised society men who do that would be hanged."

"I wish Simpkins was hanged."

"Prove your point," said Meldon, "and I'll see that he is hanged, or at
all events killed in some other way."

"There's no use talking that way, J. J. You can't go out and murder
the man."

"It won't be murder in this case," said Meldon. "It will be a
perfectly just execution, and I shan't do it myself. I'm a clergyman,
and not an executioner. But I'll see that it's done once I'm perfectly
satisfied that he deserves it."

"He had a row with the rector at a vestry meeting," said the Major,
"about the heating of the church."

"That settles it," said Meldon. "I ask for nothing more. The man
who's capable of annoying the poor old rector, who has chronic
bronchitis and must keep the church up to a pretty fair temperature--"

"What Simpkins said was that the church wasn't hot enough."

"It's all the same," said Meldon. "The point is that he worried the
rector, who's not physically strong enough to bear it, and who
certainly does not deserve it. I didn't mind his attacking you or
Doyle. You can both hit back, and if you were any good would have hit