and
shaking off anxiety and being happy. Anxiety is an insult to love.

I groped for the lamp, turned on the light, and laid some reading matter
on the table. The disorder was dismal but--to-morrow was another day. I
sat down to read.

The lines leapt at my eyes. You'd have thought them an army of ants
running over the page, running, yet always remaining at the same place.
Should I try to work? Should I try to make up a package for him? That
would be two packages this week, but two are not a whole lot.

My heart gave a great leap. The door-bell rang. Who could it be at this
hour? My very life went round in a whirlwind, I flew to the door.

Some one in black shrinking in the dark doorway in the humble attitude
of a sister of charity requesting alms for the poor. My aunt Finot!

I murmured a few little hypocrisies and put up my hair. I was fuming
inwardly, although actually a little relieved at the prospect of a
visit, which even if tedious would mean a human presence, a tangible
certainty. I was so upset I came near saying "Tante Finot" and giving
away the nickname by which she had been called in the family for twenty
years.

"Come in, aunt...."

She stepped in ahead of me, hunching up her body. The disorder struck
me ... my home was usually so neat ... and my dressing gown ... my
run-down slippers--

"An awkward hour for a visit, I know," said Aunt Finot, sitting down.
"Are you feeling quite well, dear?"

"Dear" in that mouth with lips like two tight-drawn catguts! It stabbed
like a dagger.... She sat perched on the edge of the chair twisting the
straps of her hand-bag. The lamplight threw dusky shadows on her
skeleton frame and turned her eyes into the sharp-gleaming eyes of an
executioner. My God!

"Has anything happened," I asked, "anything dreadful?"

"You see, dear ... don't get excited ... listen...."

"Dead!"

An abyss yawned at my feet, something flashed and grazed my eyelids.
I...

My aunt rose slowly. I saw her hands on the table knotted like a tangle
of cords.

"Don't get excited. Your family received bad news, I don't know from
what source. I asked them if it was official. They were all half
crazy--afraid to come and tell you.... I always felt an affection for
you, you know...."

"Yes, yes, I understand; he's dead."

There she still stood, her knotted hands on the table, a grin widening
her flat features. There she still stood.

"Aunt, please leave me alone, please do."

Perhaps s