maids, and thinks
Every girl should marry young--
On that theme my whole life long
I have heard the changes sung.
So, _ma belle_, what could I do?
Charley wants a stylish wife.
We'll suit well enough, no fear,
When we settle down for life.
But for love-stuff! See my ring!
Lovely, isn't it? Solitaire.
Nearly made Maud Hinton turn
Green with envy and despair.
Her's ain't half so nice, you see.
_Did_ I write you, Belle, about
How she tried for Charley, till
I sailed in and cut her out?
Now, she's taken Jack McBride,
I believe it's all from pique--
Threw him over once, you know--
Hates me so she'll scarcely speak.
Oh, yes! Grace Church, Brown, and that--
Pa won't mind expense at last
I'll be off his hands for good;
Cost a fortune two years past.
My trousseau shall outdo Maud's,
I've _carte blanche_ from Pa, you know--
Mean to have my dress from Worth!
Won't she be just RAVING though!

--_Scribner's Monthly Magazine, 1874._

* * * * *

Women are often extremely humorous in their newspaper letters, excelling
in that department. As critics they incline to satire. No one who read
them at the time will ever forget Mrs. Runkle's review of "St. Elmo," or
Gail Hamilton's criticism of "The Story of Avis," while Mrs. Rollins, in
the _Critic_, often uses a scimitar instead of a quill, though a smile
always tempers the severity. She thus beheads a poetaster who tells the
public that his "solemn song" is

"Attempt ambitious, with a ray of hope
To pierce the dark abysms of thought, to guide
Its dim ghosts o'er the towering crags of Doubt
Unto the land where Peace and Love abide,
Of flowers and streams, and sun and stars."

"His 'solemn song' is certainly very solemn for a song with so cheerful
a purpose. We have rarely read, indeed, a book with so large a
proportion of unhappy words in it. Frozen shrouds, souls a-chill with
agony, things wan and gray, icy demons, scourging willow-branches,
snow-heaped mounds, black and freezing nights, cups of sorrow drained to
the lees, etc., are presented in such profusion that to struggle through
the 'dark abyss' in search of the 'ray of hope' is much like taking a
cup of poison to learn the sweetness of its antidote. Mr. ---- in one of
his stanzas invites his soul