ask,--
What made such a splurge in the waste-water cask?
You are quite tender-hearted. Oh, not a doubt!
But only suppose old Black Pond could speak out.
Oh, bother! don't mutter excuses to me:
_Qui facit per alium facit per se_."

"Well, Kitty, I think full enough has been said,
And the best thing for you is go straight back to bed.
A very fine pass
Things have come to, my lass,
If men must be meek
While pussy-cats speak
Great moral reflections in Latin and Greek!"

--_Our Young Folks._

CHAPTER X.

PARODIES--REVIEWS--CHILDREN'S POEMS--COMEDIES BY WOMEN--A DRAMATIC
TRIFLE--A STRING OF FIRECRACKERS.

It is surprising that we have so few comedies from women. Dr. Doran
mentions five Englishwomen who wrote successful comedies. Of these,
three are now forgotten; one, Aphra Behn, is remembered only to be
despised for her vulgarity. She was an undoubted wit, and was never
dull, but so wicked and coarse that she forfeited all right to fame.

Susanna Centlivre left nineteen plays full of vivacity and fun and
lively incident. The _Bold Stroke for a Wife_ is now considered her
best. The _Basset Table_ is also a superior comedy, especially
interesting because it anticipates the modern blue-stocking in Valeria,
a philosophical girl who supports vivisection, and has also a prophecy
of exclusive colleges for women.

There is nothing worthy of quotation in any of these comedies. Some
sentences from Mrs. Centlivre's plays are given in magazine articles to
prove her wit, but we say so much brighter things in these days that
they must be considered stale platitudes, as:

"You may cheat widows, orphans, and tradesmen without a blush, but a
debt of honor, sir, must be paid."

"Quarrels, like mushrooms, spring up in a moment."

"Woman is the greatest sovereign power in the world."

Hans Andersen in his Autobiography mentions a Madame von Weissenthurn,
who was a successful actress and dramatist. Her comedies are published
in fourteen volumes. In our country several comedies written by women,
but published anonymously, have been decided hits. Mrs. Verplanck's
_Sealed Instructions_ was a marked success, and years ago _Fashion_, by
Anna Cora Mowatt, had a remarkable run. By the way, those roaring
farces, _Belles of the Kitchen_ and _Fun in a Fog_, were written for the
Vokes family by an aunt of theirs.