s long as no physical danger threatened,
this bliss-state surrounded me. Its opposite, that condition of violent,
agonizing, uncontrollable fear that suddenly surged over one on the
approach of bodily danger, was something which passed as swiftly as it
came, and left scarcely a trace behind it. But of that I shall have more
to say, for it produced the most extraordinary state of affairs and more
than anything else threatened to disorganize life completely.

I fancy Sarakoff was more awed by the bliss-state than I was. During the
rest of the day he was very quiet and sat gazing before him His
boisterousness had vanished. Symington-Tearle had left us--a man deeply
amazed and totally incredulous. I noticed that Sarakoff scarcely smoked
at all during that morning. As a rule his pipe was never out. He was in
the habit of consuming two ounces of tobacco a day, which in my opinion
was suicidal. He certainly lit his pipe several times, mechanically, but
laid it aside almost immediately. At lunch--we had not moved out of the
house yet--we had very little appetite. As a matter of interest I will
give exactly what we ate and drank. Sarakoff took some soup and a piece
of bread, and then some cheese. I began with some cold beef, and finding
it unattractive, pushed it away and ate some biscuits and butter. There
was claret on the table. I wish here to call attention to a passing
impression that I experienced when sipping that claret. I had recently
got in several dozen bottles of it and on that day regretted it because
it seemed to me to be extremely poor stuff. It tasted sour and harsh.

We did not talk much. It was not because my mind was devoid of ideas,
but rather because I was feeling that I had a prodigious, incalculable
amount to think about. Perhaps it was the freedom from anxiety that
made thinking easier, for there is little doubt that anxiety, however
masked, deflects and disturbs the power of thought more than anything
else. Indeed it seemed to me that I had never really thought clearly
before. To begin a conversation with Sarakoff seemed utterly artificial.
It would have been a useless interruption. I was entirely absorbed.

Sarakoff was similarly absorbed. When, therefore, the servant came in to
announce that two gentlemen wished to see us, and were in the
waiting-room, we were loth to move. I got up at length and went across
the hall. I recollect that before entering the waiting-room I was
entirely without curiosity.