done, and that I have neglected to
pay obedience to God's word and command."
"Then you will be punished when you die, will you not?"
"Alas! I fear so, child," replied Jackson, putting his hands up to his
forehead and hiding his face. "But there is still time," continued he,
after a pause; and "O God of mercy!" exclaimed he, "how shall I escape?"
I was about to continue the conversation, but Jackson requested that I
would leave him alone for a time. I went out and sat on the rock,
watching the stars.
"And those," he says, "were all made by God."
"And God made everything," thought I, "and God lives up beyond those
stars." I thought for a long while, and was much perplexed. I had
never heard anything of God till the night before, and what Jackson had
told me was just enough to make me more anxious and curious; but he
evidently did not like to talk on the subject. I tried, after a time,
if I could repeat the Lord's Prayer, and I found that I could, so I
knelt down on the rock, and looking up to a bright star, as if I would
imagine it was God, I repeated the Lord's Prayer to it, and then I rose
up and went to bed.
This was the first time that I had ever prayed.
I had learnt so much from Jackson, latterly, that I could hardly retain
what I had learnt; at all events, I had a very confused recollection in
my brain, and my thoughts turned from one subject to another, till there
was, for a time, a perfect chaos; by degrees things unravelled
themselves, and my ideas became more clear; but still I laboured under
that half-comprehension of things which, in my position, was
unavoidable.
But now my mind was occupied with one leading object and wish, which was
to learn to read. I thought no more of Jackson's history and the
account he might give me of my father and mother, and was as willing as
he was that it should be deferred for a time. What I required now was
to be able to read the books, and to this object my whole mind and
attention were given. Three or four hours in the earlier portion of the
day, and the same time in the latter, were dedicated to this pursuit,
and my attention never tired or flagged. In the course of, I think,
about six weeks, I could read, without hesitation, almost any portion of
the Bible or Prayer-book. I required no more teaching from Jackson, who
now became an attentive hearer, as I read to him every morning and
evening a portion of the Gospel or Liturgy. But I cannot say that
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