an explosion, which would be attended with many
disagreeable effects, and would totally destroy the comfort of the
best man and the best friend I have in the world. However, I am
determined that my quiet shall not be disturbed, let the nonsensical
world go on as it will."

Neither the phlegm on which he prided himself, nor his resolutions,
were sufficient, however, to keep the peace, or to avoid undignified
contentions with his wife. Some months later he addressed her a
letter, which, although bearing no date, was evidently written after a
prolonged experience of the conditions entailed upon himself by this
odd partnership; for partnership it was, in form at least, the living
expenses being divided between the two.[46] In their quiet
reasonableness, his words are not without a certain dignified pathos,
and they have the additional interest of proving, as far as words can
prove, that, battered man of the world though he was, he had no
suspicion, within a year of his death, that the relations between his
host and his wife were guilty towards himself.

"I have passed the last 40 years of my life in the hurry & bustle that
must necessarily be attendant on a publick character. I am arrived at
the age when some repose is really necessary, & I promised myself a
quiet home, & altho' I was sensible, & said so when I married, that I
shou'd be superannuated when my wife wou'd be in her full beauty and
vigour of youth. That time is arrived, and we must make the best of it
for the comfort of both parties. Unfortunately our tastes as to the
manner of living are very different. I by no means wish to live in
solitary retreat, but to have seldom less than 12 or 14 at table, and
those varying continually, is coming back to what was become so
irksome to me in Italy during the latter years of my residence in that
country. I have no connections out of my own family. I have no
complaint to make, but I feel that the whole attention of my wife is
given to Ld. N. and his interest at Merton. I well know the purity of
Ld. N.'s friendship for Emma and me, and I know how very uncomfortable
it wou'd make his Lp, our best friend, if a separation shou'd take
place, & am therefore determined to do all in my power to prevent
such an extremity, which wou'd be _essentially detrimental_ to all
parties, but wou'd be more sensibly felt by our dear friend than by
us. Provided that our expences in housekeeping do not encrease beyond
measure (of which I mu