out being so tired, as for her own ease to fall into
the mouth of the mongrel she runs from. But the history of Sir Taffety
is as pleasant as his character. It happened, that when he first set up
for a fortune-hunter, he chose Tunbridge for the scene of action; where
were at that time two sisters upon the same design. The knight believed
of course the elder must be the better prize; and consequently makes all
his sail that way. People that want sense, do always in an egregious
manner want modesty, which made our hero triumph in making his amour as
public as was possible. The adored lady was no less vain of his public
addresses. An attorney with one cause is not half so restless as a woman
with one lover. Wherever they met, they talked to each other aloud,
chose each other partner at balls, saluted at the most conspicuous parts
of the service at church, and practised in honour of each other all the
remarkable particularities which are usual for persons who admire one
another, and are contemptible to the rest of the world. These two lovers
seemed as much made for each other as Adam and Eve, and all pronounced
it a match of Nature's own making; but the night before the nuptials (so
universally approved), the younger sister, envious of the good fortune
even of her sister, who had been present at most of their interviews,
and had an equal taste for the charms of a fop (as there are a set of
women made for that order of men); the younger, I say, unable to see so
rich a prize pass by her, discovered to Sir Taffety, that a coquette
air, much tongue, and three suits, was all the portion of his mistress.
His love vanished that moment, himself and equipage the next morning. It
is uncertain where the lover has been ever since engaged; but certain it
is, he has not appeared in his character as a follower of love and
fortune till he arrived at Epsom, where there is at present a young lady
of youth, beauty, and fortune, who has alarmed[453] all the vain and the
impertinent to infest that quarter. At the head of this assembly, Sir
Taffety shines in the brightest manner, with all the accomplishments
which usually ensnare the heart of woman; with this particular merit
(which often is of great service), that he is laughed at for her sake.
The friends of the fair one are in much pain for the sufferings she goes
through from the perseverance of this hero; but they may be much more so
from the danger of his succeeding, toward which they give hi