eaded Chaplain had been greazing his old Gassock
there long before I new rigg'd him: But that's all one, I, poor I, must
be denounc'd as Criminal; I brought him upon the Stage, I wash'd his
Face, put on a new Crape Vest, and a clean Band, which, oh, fatal
accident, made him look so like somebody, that I, in his opinion, and
condemn'd by his infallibility, have been no body ever since, _vox &
praeterea nihil_. Well, however this is determin'd, let me beg of my
impartial Readers, to give me leave to try what I can be, I have had
good fortune I am told by others in Lyrical Verse, which I am sure is
one principal part of Poetry, I'll see now if I can match my Antagonist
in Rallying Prose. Several ingenious Authors have already, I think, so
well confuted his Assertions against the Stage, by proofs from the
Antient Poets, the Primitive Fathers, and their Authorities, that they
have far excell'd what I can pretend to do there; only, I could have
wish'd one who is best able, and whose admirable Genius and Skill in
Poetry would have been remarkably serviceable, had drawn his Pen to
defend the Rights of the Stage, tho he had own'd the loosenesses of it,
and had ventured the being presented for it; but since we, the forlorn,
are not so happy to have that Aid, let my Antagonist, the Reformer, who,
for all the gravity in some part of his Book, and the solid Piety he
would insinuate in his Arguments, I perceive to be a Joker, and as full
of Puns, Conundrums, Quibbles, Longinquipetites, and Tipiti-witchets, as
the rest of us mortals, be pleas'd to take the length of my Weapon at
that sport, for now I cannot help telling my Audience, which is the
Town, that he has laid his reforming Cudgel upon me so severely, and it
smarts so damnably, that I can't forbear smiting again if I were to be
hang'd, desiring only, as the usual method is, a clear Stage, and from
him no favour.

To begin then, I shall illustrate my first Scene with a comical hint
upon some part of his Character; and that the Jest may be worthy of
making you laugh, you are to know, that the first view I ever had of
this extraordinary Person, was neither better nor worse than under the
_Gallows_. Well, but think you, I warrant, 'twas about some Charitable
Duty that his sacred Function and Piety oblig'd him to, such as
Exhorting the poor Souls to confess their Crimes, in order to be sav'd,
or the like; no, faith, but quite contrary, for he was rather hardning
them, and infusing