o write 'em. What need I
mention the Sham-Oaths, and looseness of Farce, or the Fustian raving
against the Gods in Tragedy, were these things really unconcern'd with
Idolatry, a Parson, of all Mankind, should not be known to ogle them,
for were they not highly Criminal, the foolery of them is Egregious, and
unbecoming the gravity of all that thump the Cushion, or intend to thump
a true Belief into the Pates of an incorrigible Congregation."

And now methinks I see the Spiritual Critick, with a certain sallow
Male-contented Phiz, poring upon this Page, and sucking his Ring-finger,
gives himself an unpleasurable minute to Judge whether I have
paraphras'd right or no; well, all's one, fall back fall edge, I'm
resolv'd to bait him with St. _Cyprian_ a little more. "A Parson has,
or should have, much better Books than Plays to look in; he has many
Authors of Pious and Solid Authorities to please, and improve himself
with, at the same time. Would a Parson be agreeably refresh'd, let him
read the Scriptures, let him find out Treatises of Morality, Meekness,
Charity, and holy Life, there the Entertainment will suit his Character.
Ah, Beloved, how noble, how moving, how profitable a pleasure would it
be to us, to see a Parson thus employ'd, to let the Stage's diversions
be too little for his grave Consideration, and be intent himself on the
glories of Heaven!" And here now, I do not at all question but the
_Absolver_, a little nettled at this last Parallel, will fall to biting
of his fingers again, his Righteous Spirit being offended at my
Insolence, in scribling the Word _Parson_ so oft, it being a Nickname,
and only invented by some idle fellow, who resolv'd to use the Order
with no more respect. Why truly, I confess, in this Case, Modesty is
a little gravell'd, but then she may thank him for it, for he has
dignify'd the Poets with so many _Hell-defying_, _deep-mouth'd
Swearing_, _Relapsing_, _Witch-riding Titles_, that the worthy Ministry
cannot reasonably be angry, especially when the Word is only meant to
him, whom I shall prove has lessen'd the true Title, by his _Immorality_
and _Hypocrisie_, more than ever the Poets did the Reputation of the
Stage, by their Time-serving Loosenesses and Licentious Diversions.

It is, no doubt, a considerable Maim to us, in some Peoples opinions,
who never digested the benefits arising from the Stage in its Moral
Representations, that this smarting Lash is given us by a Clergy-man of
the