otector now, he
probably won't be helping her the way I did--she probably won't need a
helper any more, if he gives her the gifts the Herald was promised--and
I didn't really like the work, but it was the only productive thing I
was doing. Betrayal, uselessness--and I'm damn close to losing all my
faith."

Which sounded like it was tearing him apart, Medart thought. A lot of
people, even a few Rangers, needed a religious faith to feel complete;
it wouldn't be a violation of the separation doctrine to try and help
him regain his. "Don't give up till you read the Traditional church's
Bible and teachings, Mike. They might be just what you need."

"I hope so." Odeon hesitated, then decided to go on; as a police
officer, he knew that having all the facts was essential to reaching a
good decision, and he wanted the best Medart could manage. "The night
I was Sealed to the Protector--Joanie then, of course--Jeshua appeared
to me in a vision. One of the things he told me was that I'd be tested
by pain and loss great enough I'd be seriously tempted to reject him.
I thought earlier that Shayan torturing me was that, but I was wrong.
This is, and I hate it. It's a horrible feeling."

"I can tell," Medart said sympathetically. "Hang on; let me have that
material brought down right away instead of waiting till morning." He
touched his throat, gave the necessary orders. "Okay, they'll be here
in half an hour or so. Unfortunately, we don't have any Traditional
Catholics aboard, or I'd have asked one to come down and talk to you."

"The Bible and outline should be enough, if it's going to work at all.
I have a funny feeling I'm going to be up all night reading and praying
. . . Would you mind if we get back to the main subject?"

"Sure. I can't do much else about your feeling of betrayal, but I'm
hoping to get rid of the useless feeling for you." Medart paused,
smiled. "Even if you decide against the job I want you to take, if
those feelings are strong enough that you feel you have to leave the
Systems, all you need to do is claim your Imperial citizenship, then
exercise your option to change your world of residence once at Imperial
expense--in this case, aboard my ship."

"They're strong enough," Odeon said, "but I've still got a Family I
love and responsibilities I can't just run away from. I'll claim
citizenship, yes--the other, not unless you can persuade me the Empire
has more of a claim on me than my Family