llopathic Slugs of the Size that they feed you in
the Navy and then lower you into the Dingey and send you Ashore. Then
she let them go out on the Porch to smoke. By the time the Lady
President came to the last Page there were only two Men left in the
Front Room. One was Asleep and the other was Penned In.

The Women were Huffy. They went out to make the Men come in, and found
them Bunched on the Porch listening to a Story that a Traveling Man had
just brought to Town that Day.

Now the Plan was that during the Reception the Company would stand about
in little Groups, and ask each other what Books they liked, and make it
something on the order of a Salon. This Plan miscarried, because all the
Men wanted to hear Rag Time played by Josephine, the Life-Saver.
Josephine had to yield, and the Men all clustered around her to give
their Moral Support. After one or two Selections, they felt sufficiently
Keyed to begin to hit up those low-down Songs about Baby and Chickens
and Razors. No one paid any Attention to the Lady President, who was off
in a Corner holding an Indignation Meeting with the Secretary and the
Vice-President.

When the Women began to sort out the Men and order them to start Home
and all the Officers of the Club were giving Josephine the frosty Good
Night, any one could see that there was Trouble ahead.

Next Day the Club held a Special Session and expelled Josephine for
Conduct Unbecoming a Member, and Josephine sent Word to them as follows:
"Rats."

Then the Men quietly got together and bought Josephine about a Thousand
Dollars' Worth of American Beauty Roses to show that they were With her,
and then Homes began to break up, and somebody started the Report that
anyway it was the Lady President's Fault for having such a long and
pokey Essay that wasn't hers at all, but had been Copied out of a Club
Paper published in Detroit.

Before the next Meeting there were two Factions. The Lady President had
gone to a Rest Cure, and the Meeting resolved itself into a Good Cry and
a general Smash-Up.

MORAL: _The only Literary Men are those who have to Work at it._

_THE_ FABLE _OF_ WHY ESSIE'S TALL FRIEND GOT _THE_ FRESH AIR

The Owner of a Furnishing Store gave employment to a Boy with Dreamy
Eyes, who took good care of his Nails and used Scented Soap and carried
a Pocket Looking-Glass. It was his Delight to stand in the Doorway and
watch the Girls all Color Up when they caught Sight of him. He was sa