s Front Yard, pretending to be
at Work, but really doing the Pinkerton Act, and keeping one Ear spread
for a nice, juicy Bit of Scandal.

[Illustration: THE HE-GOSSIP]

Mr. Bizzy watched the Family at all Hours of the Day and Night for many
Months. Although convinced that they were Children of Belial and pretty
Hard Nuts in general, he still hoped to Rescue them. He wondered if he
could not Appeal to the Man's Wife. She was a Daughter of Iniquity, all
right, but maybe she might listen to an Entreaty if it came from one who
was Pure, and who could point out to her in Fatherly Kindness that she
was leading her Family on a Short Cut to the Weeping and Wailing and
Gnashing of Teeth.

One Day Mr. Bizzy got a quiet Tip from another Moral Detective, that the
Man had stayed out until 2 A.M., at a Banquet given to a Militia
Company, so he knew it was Time for him to Act. He lay in Ambush until
the Coast was Clear, and then he went across the Dead-Line and caught
her on the Piazza. She was Surprised to see him.

He told her all the Reports he had heard about her Husband, and said he
was Sorry for her. He wondered if they couldn't get together a few of
the Respectable Men and Women of the Neighborhood, and have a Talk with
the Husband, and try to Pluck him as a Brand from the Burning. She
listened with that Ominous Calm which always precedes the Iowa Cyclone
that takes the Roof off the Court House and moves the Poor Farm into the
Adjoining County. She said she would take her Husband aside and have a
Confidential Chat with him, and if he wanted to be Plucked, then she
would call in the Cyrenius Bizzy Association of Pluckers.

The He-Gossip went Home feeling that he was entitled to a Pedestal right
in between Savonarola and Martin Luther.

When the Man came Home his Wife told him. He murmured something about
the Last Straw and moved swiftly out of doors. Pulling up the Rover
Stake from the Croquet Grounds as he ran, he cleared the Dividing Fence
without touching his Hands and began to Clean House. In about a Second
there was a Sound as if somebody had stubbed his Toe and dropped a
Crockery Store. Then Cyrenius was seen to Break the Record for the
Running Long Jump, off the Front Stoop into an Oleander Tub, while
wearing a Screen Door. After him came the Worldly Husband. For several
Minutes the Copse where once the Garden smiled was full of He-Gossip and
Cries for Help.

[Illustration: A MAN]

When the Man came back to wher