friend against taking such a step,
even at the present and ever-increasing high cost of living. I do not
use such language. Since I first put on long trousers I have hunted high
and low for a wife, and with a persistence equalling that of a young
penniless widow, but without success. Just when it seems that within a
few days I shall be the happy recipient of the congratulations of my
friends who in their hearts feel certain I am about to fall victim to
the wiles of a designing female person, cruel fate steps in and with
peremptory halting gesture and commanding voice has always said;--thus
far, but no father. You will doubtless live to see me at fifty struggle
through a dance with the daughter of my old sweetheart while the son of
another breaks us; and I, broken of wind and mopping my bald head, shall
retire to a corner and rest while conversing with the hostess'
grandmother. Seriously, mother, I intend to marry just as soon as a girl
as good and sweet as you are will have me. I am beginning to think it
will be Mary, or my stenographer. I have not seen Mary for more than
five years; it is nearly a year since I heard from her. In some ways the
photograph of that beautiful, fashionably-gowned girl reminds me of her.
Do you suppose that's Mary? But she surely is not in Rome!--How do you
like this, mother?" And John, whanging an accompaniment on the piano,
sang this Arabian song:

"THE MOTHER.

"My daughter, 'tis time that thou wert wed;
Ten summers already are over thy head;
I must find you a husband, if under the sun,
The conscript catcher has left us one.

"THE DAUGHTER.

"Dear mother, ONE husband will never do:
I have so much love that I must have two;
And I'll find for each, as you shall see,
More love than both can bring to me.

"One husband shall carry a lance so bright;
He shall roam the desert for spoil at night;
And when morning shines on the tall palm tree,
He shall find sweet welcome home with me.

"The other a sailor bold shall be:
He shall fish all day in the deep blue sea;
And when evening brings his hour of rest,
He shall find repose on this faithful breast.

"THE MOTHER.

"There's no chance my child, of a double match,
For men are scarce and hard to catch;
So I fear you must make one husband do,
And try to love him as well as two.

"Goodbye, I must go to the office; kiss me, mother!"

*