have no wish unfulfilled. Go, _read ye_ and be
wise, and however friends may forsake you, be sure this faithful Dict.
will never fail you.

Another striking injustice in the bestowal of prizes is the fact the
teachers get none of them, and who, pray, is more entitled to them? Is
it not the teacher who has crammed and coached the unfortunate
students to the saturation point? Now, in my model school, no such
injustice shall be done, but, what to offer? There's the question. Of
course a teacher's mind is a compendium of all human knowledge,
therefore books would be out of place. So, Mr. Mason, to you I offer
no gaudy volume, but only this little machine, adapted for physical
culture. It is warranted to exercise every one of the blank muscles of
the human body at once; besides cultivating the artistic taste. Note
the graceful curve it describes in the air! Note the harmony of color
in the handles! Take it, dear teacher, to have, to possess, and to
enjoy the same unto yourself, your heirs, executors, administrators,
and assigns forever.

Another striking incongruity is the fact that the best student is
generally a pale, slender girl, or one on which the ravages of disease
have set their mark. To this delicate creature is given a prize of
books which will still further tax her powers. Now, would it not be
wiser to minister to the body diseased and award a prize of this
nature. Will Miss Hilda Busick step this way? Permit me to ask you one
question. _Be you sick?_ That is all I wish to know. _Be you sick?_ If
that be so, dear friend, take this in time. It is warranted to cure
every ill under the sun, and taken internally or externally makes no
difference. Take it, and bless your fortunate star which brought this
to your lot rather than a pile of dusty volumes.

For you, dear Miss Clancy, I was at a loss, but knowing that your
future career will be a busy one, I thought this little engagement
slate might be handy. You see you can hang it up in your office when
you are called away to take down a sermon of Phillips Brooks, or to
report the World's Fair of '92, and the horde of stenographer-hunters
may subscribe their names here and their humble supplication that you
will attend to them on their return. The other side of the slate may
be used in casting up bills.

I quite agree with Miss Sharp that patriotic sentiments ought to be
inculcated, and for this reason I have chosen this little flag of our
country which I beg she wi