omething else before we pass on
For our dear kind teacher, Mr. W. L. Mason,
For oft have I seen the briny tear start
To his bright kindly eyes, while my classmates so smart
Were kept _waiting_, while I tried to write like the chart.

Address

OF MISS ELLEN M. PHILLIPS, UPON AWARDING
PRIZES TO THE MEMBERS OF HER SECTION,
TUESDAY EVENING, JUNE, 2ND, '91.

In these days of model schools it is difficult to find an innovation
or to advance a theory of improvement which has not already been made;
but it seems to me there is one crying grievance from which all
schools suffer, and which I should like to do my little mite to
redress. My ideal of a school-master is the one in the opera of "Billy
Taylor." His creed is summed up in the quatrain.

"When a pedagogue, I'd often wish,
I'd give prizes to the _worst_ boys at school.
The good boys I would like to swish,
But alas! I would not break the rule."

Since the pleasant duty of awarding prizes has fallen to my lot, I am
determined to award them according to my theory, and lest my reasons
for bestowing them may not be perfectly clear to all, and the system
of reasoning by which my results are attained appear somewhat
illogical, I will endeavor to explain my reasons.

What, for instance, can be more absurd than the usual way in which the
prize is chosen for the individual obtaining the highest per cent. in
an examination? What, forsooth, is awarded but a collection of
books!!! Yes! To the very person who is supposed to know all that
books contain! It would be much more logical to my thinking to give
the aforesaid set of books to a poor plucked student who would be so
glad to avail himself of a little of their weighty contents.

For, and in consideration of the aforesaid reason, and for other
valuable consideration, I hereby assign, transfer and set over unto
you, my dear Miss Reidy, this little volume. It may seem small, but
believe me therein is comprised a respectable proportion of human
knowledge. It will be your consolation in time of need. In it you will
find every thing a mortal mind may desire. Do you desire wealth? You
will find it described on all that certain lot, piece or parcel of
column 2, situate, lying and being on page 303. Or perhaps happiness
is your aim? That you will find near the southeast corner of page
133, the same being therein described as the State of Enjoyment.

In short, you will