, the produce of 9000 cows; 10,000
acres of ground cultivated for vegetables; 4000 acres for
fruit; 75,000 quarters of wheat; 700,000 chaldrons of coals;
1,200,500 barrels of ale and porter; 12,146,782 gallons of
spirituous liquors and compounds; 35,500 tons of wine;
17,000,000 pounds of butter, 22,100,000 pounds of cheese;
14,500 boat loads of cod.

~330~~ "May I ask," said Mr. Dashall, "from what species of literary
composition you chiefly derive your subsistence?"

"From puffing--writing rhyming advertisements for certain speculative
and successful candidates for public favour, in various avocations;
for instance, eulogizing the resplendent brilliancy of Jet or Japan
Blacking--the wonderful effects of Tyrian-Dye and Macassar Oil in
producing a luxuriant growth and changing the colour of the hair,
transforming the thinly scattered and hoary fragments of age to the
redundant and auburn tresses of youth--shewing forth that the "Riding
Master to his late Majesty upwards of thirty years, and Professor of the
Royal Menage of Hanover, sets competition at defiance, and that all who
dare presume to rival the late Professor of the Royal Menage of Hanover,
are vile unskilful pretenders, ci-devant stable-boys, and totally
undeserving the notice of an enlightened and discerning public! In fact,
Sir, I am reduced to this occasional humiliating employment, derogatory
certainly to the dignity of literature, as averting the approach of
famine. I write, for various adventurers, poetical panegyric, and
illustrate each subject by incontrovertible facts, with appropriate
incident and interesting anecdote."

"And these facts," observed Bob Tallyho, "respectably authenticated?"

"By no means," answered the Poet; "nor is it necessary, nobody takes the
trouble of inquiry, and all is left to the discretion of the writer and
the fertility of his invention."

"On the same theme, does not there exist," asked Dashall, "a difficulty
in giving it the appearance of variety?"

"Certainly; and that difficulty would seem quite insurmountable when
I assure you, that I have written for a certain Blacking Manufacturer
above two hundred different productions on the subject of his
unparalleled Jet, each containing fresh incident, and very probably
fresh incident must yet be found for two hundred productions more! But
the misfortune is, that every thing is left to my invention, and the
remuneration is of a very trifling n