pted," replied Sparkle; "and there is yet
much to be said on the subject. I find there are many difficulties
to encounter in contending with the fashionable customs. Some learned
persons have endeavoured to support the practice of late dinners by
precedent, and quoted the Roman supper; but it ought to be recollected
that those suppers were at three o'clock in the afternoon, and should be
a subject of contempt, instead of imitation, in Grosvenor Square. Women,
~180~~however, are not quite so irrational as men, in London, for they
generally sit down to a substantial lunch about three or four; if men
would do the same, the meal at eight might be relieved of many of its
weighty dishes, and conversation would be a gainer by it; for it must be
allowed on all hands, that conversation suffers great interruption from
the manner in which fashionable dinners are managed. First, the host and
hostess (or her unfortunate coadjutor) are employed during three parts
of the dinner in doing the work of servants, helping fish, or carving
venison to twenty hungry guests, to the total loss of the host's powers
of amusement, and the entire disfigurement of the fair hostess's face.
Again, much time is lost by the attention every one is obliged to
pay, in order to find out (which, by the way, he cannot do if he is
short-sighted) what dishes are at the extreme end of the table; and if
a guest is desirous of a glass of wine, he must peep through the Apollos
and Cupids of the plateau, in order to find some one to take it with;
otherwise he is compelled to wait till some one asks him, which will
probably happen in succession; so that after having had no wine for
half an hour, he will have to swallow five glasses in five minutes.
Convenience teaches, that the best manner of enjoying society at dinner,
is to leave every thing to the servants that servants can do; so that
no farther trouble may be experienced than to accept the dishes that
are presented, and to drink at your own time the wines which are
handed round. A fashionable dinner, on the contrary, seems to presume
beforehand on the silence, dulness, and insipidity of the guests, and
to have provided little interruptions, like the jerks which the Chaplain
gives to the Archbishop to prevent his going to sleep during a sermon."

"Accurate descriptions, as usual," said Tom, "and highly amusing."

Tallyho and Mortimer were intent upon hearing the remainder of Sparkle's
account, though they occasion