o men? He is one beside himself.

Why is a good story like a church bell? It is often told (tolled).

What is the weight of the moon? Four quarters.

What sea would make the best bed-room? Adriatic (a-dry attic).

Why is Ireland likely to become rich? Because the capital is always
Dublin (doubling).

What two letters make a county in Massachusetts? S. X. (Essex).

Why is a good saloon like a bad one? Both inn convenient

Why do dentists make good politicians? Because they have a great pull.

Why is the Hudson River like a shoe? Because it is a great place for
tows (toes).

Why is a race at a circus like a big conflagration? Because the heat is
in tents (intense).

Which is the left side of a plum pudding? The part that is not eaten.

Why is a man who runs in debt like a clock? He goes on tick.

Why is the wick of a candle like Athens? It is in the midst of grease
(Greece).

Why are deep sighs like long stockings? Heigh-ho's (high hose).

What occupation is the sun? A tanner.

Why are your eyes like stage horses? They are always under lashes.

Why are your teeth like verbs? Regular, irregular and defective?

What word makes you sick if you leave out one of its letters? Music.

What word of ten letters can be spelled with five? Expediency (X P D N
C).

Why should red-headed men be chosen for soldiers? They carry fire-locks.

Why is the letter D like a sailor? It follows the sea (C).

Why is a theological student like a merchant? Both study the Prophets
(profits).

If the alphabet were invited out to dine what time would U, V, W, X, Y
and Z go? After tea (T).

How can you take one from nineteen and leave twenty? XIX--XX

LAST WORDS OF FAMOUS MEN AND WOMEN.

"'Tis well."--George Washington.

"Tete d'armee."--Napoleon.

"I thank God that I have done my duty."--Admiral Nelson.

"I pray thee see me safe up, but for my coming down I can shift for
myself," were the last words of Sir Thomas More when ascending the
scaffold.

"God bless you."--Dr. Johnson.

"I have finished."--Hogarth.

"Dying, dying."--Thos. Hood.

"Drop the curtain, the farce is played out."--Rabelais.

"I am what I am. I am what I am."--Swift.

"I still live."--Daniel Webster.

"How grand these rays. They seem to beckon earth to heaven."--Humboldt.

"It is now time that we depart--I to die, you to live: but which is the
better destination is unknown."--Socrates.

"Adieu, my dear Morand, I am dying."--Volta