rank," sed Ike, "th' chap
'at bowt him had him kursened Frank i' honor o' Frank Crossley bein made
a member o' parliment." "Varry weel," aw sed, "then let's get him onto
it." One or two came to give a lift, an' wi' a bit o' trouble we gate
him aghtside. Th' donkey wor thear, but as ther wor a gurt milk can o'
each side on it, aw couldn't see exactly ha to put this chap on. "O,"
sed Ike, "he'll ride nicely between' em," soa we hoisted him up, an'
gave th' chap 'at belang'd donkey a shilling to see him safe hooam. Off
they went at a jog trot, an' aw fancy if he'd niver known owt abaat th'
can can befoor, 'at he'd have a varry lively noation o' what it meant
befoor he'd gooan two mile daan th' hill. When we'd getten him away,
some o'th chaps went back into th' haase, but aw thowt my wisest plan
wor to steer straight for hooam, which aw did, an' although aw believe
my old woman had prepared a dish o' tongue for mi supper, as aw went
straight to bed an' fell asleep, aw'm net exactly sure whether aw gate
it or net. When aw wakken'd next mornin, aw began thinking abaat th'
neet befoor, an' aw coom to th' conclusion, 'at "Widdop's Rest" might be
all varry weel once in a way, but if a chap had weary booans, he'd be
able to rest a deal better in a comfortable bed at hooam.

Tinklin' Tom.

Some time ago I was accidentally thrown into the im company of a number
of workmen, who were just wondering how to pass the remainder of the
dinner hour agreeably; and, as they were all indulging in the favourite
after dinner pipe, with one exception, it was proposed that this one,
whom they called Amos, should tell them one of his stories. Amos,
nothing loth, and, evidently accustomed to occupy the position of a
story teller, without any apology commenced:--

"Nah, aw dooan't think for a minit, 'at yo all knew this tinklin' Tommy,
'at aw'm gooin to tell yo abaght. Nowt o'th' soort! Its net to be
expected! But aw dar say yo've all known a tinklin chap o' some
sooart--one o' them 'ats allus boddin an' doin jobs they niver sarved
ther time to--a sooart o' jack-o'-all-trades, one 'at con turn his hand
to owt ommost. Nah, aw like a chap o' that sooart, if he doesn't carry
things too far: but when he begins to say 'at he con build a haase as
weel as a mason, an' mak a kist o' drawers as weel as a joiner, or
praich a sarmon as weel as th' parson--or playa bazzoon, or spetch a
pair o' clogs better nor ony man breathin--then, aw say, tak care