mak it play, Tinklin Tom an' a plumber turned it into a ale pump, an' it
stands i'th' bar to this day, an' they say its th' handsomest machine
o'th' sooart i' Northaaram. Th' landlord's studied music a bit sin'
then, an' as sooin as he hears th' kay nooat ov a chap's voice, he can
tell whether to draw him flat ale or sharp ale, as natural as con be.
An' they're gooin to kursen th' haase a "music ale haase;" an soa mony
fowk goa to see it, 'at th' landlord says he "fell i' luck for th' furst
time in his life when th' peanner fell aght o'th' winder."

"Ha! ha! ha! Well, that's a stunner, Amos! Tha's done that a gooid en,
but yond's th' whew, soa we mun goa an' do another bit for th' maister.
Ha! ha! ha!"

Th' New Schooil Booard.

In a village not very far from where I am now sitting, and in the
principal street, (for it was the only one,) was situated an
old-fashioned hostelry where nightly all the Solomons of the district
used to congregate. The room they occupied was a large kitchen, the
floor of which was scoured and sanded; and all the furniture, which was
immovable, was brushed as white as it was possible to be. Here they held
their political discussions, and showed how Gladstone had missed it, and
clearly demonstrated that had their advice been acted upon, the world
would very soon have become so regenerated that soldiers, sailors,
parliaments, and policemen, would be things altogether useless, and we
should soon be in such a position that pleasure would be the only
business of life. On the night of which I write, the conversation turned
upon the question of School Boards. Old Michael, who was a great
authority on the question of education, owing to his daughter being a
pupil teacher, was at once appealed to for his opinion.

"Well," he said, "awve net gooan soa deeply into this matter as some
things, but aw should think 'at they'res gooin to be a mistak all th'
way through. If aw understand it reight, iverybody's to be eddicated to
sich a pitch, wol they'll be able to tak a sitiwation awther as a clark
at a bank or a clark at a chapel, an' yo know as weel as aw do 'at
ther's some fowk yo connot eddicate. My dowter has tell'd me monny a
time, 'at ther's a deeal o' fowk 'at's born withaat heeads. Yo may think
it saands strange but aw believe it's true--they've nobbut getten lumps,
an' they're like blind boils, yo may pooltice 'em as long as yo like,
an' yo can niver draw 'em to a heead, an' that bein th' c