nt aw dooant think yo'l be ony war, an' that's one
comfort. Ther's nowt like startin at th' faandation ov a subject, if yo
want to deal wi' it in a reight way, an' aw intend to goa to th' rooit,
an' as money is th' rooit ov all evil, an' th' number one doctrine is i'
my opinion an evil, aw shall start wi' brass. We mun awther believe
money to be th' rooit ov all evil, or else we daat th' wisdom o' him at
sed it, but at th' same time my experience taiches me at it's a varry
useful thing to have i' yor pocket when yo goa to market, an' it's a
wonderful thing for stiffenin a chap's back booan. Allus remember this,
at th' heigher yo hold yor heead an' lower other fowk 'll bow theirs.
Ther are exceptions to this rule, for ther are 'at think a honest man
has as mich reight to hold up his heead, even if he hasn't a penny in
his pocket, as one 'at's thaasands o' paands. Ov coorse, yo know better
nor that; for a empty heead an' a full purse can pass muster even i'th'
Parliament. Then, whativer yo do, yo mun get hold o' this brass, an'
niver heed, if becoss your gettin moor nor yo want causes some others to
goa short--that's nowt to yo--yor number one an' luk to that. If yo can
nobbut get a fortune, yo'll find friends come withaat seekin. But mind
whativer yo do to get yor brass honestly-that is, get it i' some way 'at
th' law cannot touch yo. Dooant knock a chap daan an' tak it throo him,
but start some sooart ov a society wi' a long name, get some offices in
a garret in a grand street, get some chap wi' a hannel to his name to be
president, an' a lot o' directors 'at nawther yo nor onybody else iver
knew, pay a poor begger fourteen shillin a week to be scratchetary, mak
yorsen into th' treasurer, an' then advertise. Somdy'll be sure to tak
shares, an' as sooin as ther's ony brass to goa on wi,' vooat yor sen a
salary ov two thaasand a year,--mak sure to get it--an' then, if ther's
ony claims at yo connot meet wind up th' business. Fowk'll be sure to
sympathise wi' yo, and yo'll have as mich as 'll keep yo respectable for
a bit, an' then yo can luk aght for another chonce o' turnin a honest
penny. Yor belly'll be full an' your back weel clooathed, your
conscience--well, tak noa noatice o' that,--an' if yo can get a front
seeat in a chapel yo'll stand a gooid chonce o' been made a taan
caancillor or a member o'th schooil booard. This number one doctrine has
another advantage, a chap 'at follows it aght has nubdy's else interests
to