lark in a cage on the
other side of the street (perhaps I was in a cage myself, though I did
not think of that then) which always started singing when I sang, except
the washerwomen from a Women's Shelter going off at four to their work
at the West End, and two old widows opposite who sewed Bibles and
stitched cassocks, which being (so Miriam told me) the worst-paid of all
sweated labour compelled them to be up as early as myself.

It was not a very hopeful environment, yet for some time, in my little
top room, I was really happy.

I saw baby every day. Between six and nine every night, I broke off work
to go to Ilford, saying nothing about my errand to anybody, and leaving
the family of the Jew to think it was my time for recreation.

Generally I "trammed" it from Bow Church, because I was so eager to get
to my journey's end, but usually I returned on foot, for though the
distance was great I thought I slept better for the walk.

What joyful evenings those were!

Perhaps I was not altogether satisfied about the Olivers, but that did
not matter very much. On closer acquaintance I found my baby's nurse to
be a "heedless" and "feckless" woman; and though I told myself that all
allowances must be made for her in having a bad husband, I knew in my
secret heart that I was deceiving myself, and that I ought to listen to
the voices that were saying "Your child is being neglected."

Sometimes it seemed to me that baby had not been bathed--but that only
gave me an excuse for bathing her myself.

Sometimes I thought her clothes were not as clean as they might be--but
that only gave me the joy of washing them.

Sometimes I was sure that her feeding-bottle had not been rinsed and her
milk was not quite fresh--but that only gave me the pleasure of scalding
the one and boiling the other.

More than once it flashed upon me that I was paying Mrs. Oliver to do
all this--but then what a deep delight it was to be mothering my own
baby!

Thus weeks and months passed--it is only now I know how many, for in
those days Time itself had nothing in it for me except my child--and
every new day brought the new joy of watching my baby's development.

Oh, how wonderful it all was! To see her little mind and soul coming out
of the Unknown! Out of the silence and darkness of the womb into the
world of light and sound!

First her sense of sight, with her never-ending interest in her dear
little toes! Then her senses of touch and hearing,