unseen arm had always snatched me away.
This led me--was it some angel leading me?--to think again of Martin and
to remember our beautiful and sacred parting at Castle Raa.
"Whatever happens to either of us, we belong to each other for ever," he
had said, and I had answered, "For ever and ever."
It was a fearful shock to think of this now. I saw that if I did what I
had come out to do, not only would Mary O'Neill be dead to me after
to-night, but Martin Conrad would be dead also.
When I thought of that I realised that, although I had accepted, without
question, the newspaper reports of Martin's death, he had never hitherto
been dead to me at all. He had lived with me every moment of my life
since, supporting me, sustaining me and inspiring me, so that nothing I
had ever done--not one single thing--would have been different if I had
believed him to be alive and been sure that he was coming back.
But now I was about to kill Martin Conrad as well as Mary O'Neill, by
breaking the pledge (sacred as any sacrament) which they had made for
life and for eternity.
Could I do that? In this hideous way too? Never! Never! Never! I should
die in the streets first.
I remember that I was making a movement to go back to Ilford (God knows
how), when, on the top of all my brave thinking, came the pitiful
thought of my child. My poor helpless little baby, who had made no
promise and was party to no pledge. She needed nourishment and fresh air
and sunshine, and if she could not get them--if I went back to her
penniless--she would die!
My sweet darling! My Isabel, my only treasure! Martin's child and mine!
That put a quick end to all my qualms. Again I bit my lip until it bled,
and told myself that I should speak to the Very next man who came along.
"Yes, the very next man who comes along," I thought.
I was standing at that moment in the shadow of one of the pilasters of
the loggia, almost leaning against it, and in the silence of the street
I heard distinctly the sharp firm step of somebody coming my way.
It was a man. As he came near me he slowed down, and stopped. He was
then immediately behind me. I heard his quick breathing. I felt that his
eyes were fixed on me. One sidelong glance told me that he was wearing a
long ulster and a cap, that he was young, tall, powerfully built, had a
strong, firm, clean-shaven face, and an indescribable sense of the open
air about him.
"Now, now!" I thought, and (to prevent my
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