good? What was the good?

FORTY-FIRST CHAPTER

But next morning, having had time to think things out in my simple and
ignorant way, I tried to reconcile myself to my position. Remembering
what Aunt Bridget had said, both before my marriage and after it, about
the different moralities of men and women, I told myself I had placed my
standard too high.

Perhaps a husband was not a superior being, to be regarded with respect
and reverence, but a sort of grown-up child whom it was the duty of a
wife to comfort, coax, submit to and serve.

I determined to do this. Still clinging to the hope of falling in love
with my husband, I set myself to please him by every means within my
power, even to the length of simulating sentiments which I did not feel.

But what a task I was setting myself! What a steep and stony Calvary I
was attempting to climb!

After the degrading business with the other woman had been concluded I
thought we should have left England immediately on the honeymoon tour
which my husband had mapped out for us, but he told me that would not be
convenient and we must remain in London a little longer. We stayed six
weeks altogether, and never did a young wife pass a more cheerless and
weary time.

I had no friends of my own within reach, and to my deep if secret
mortification no woman of my husband's circle called upon me. But a few
of his male friends were constantly with us, including Mr. Eastcliff,
who had speedily followed us from Ellan, and a Mr. Vivian, who, though
the brother of a Cabinet Minister, seemed to me a very vain and vapid
person, with the eyes of a mole, a vacant smile, a stupid expression, an
abrupt way of speaking through his teeth, and a shrill voice which gave
the impression of screeching against the wind.

With these two men, and others of a similar kind, we passed many hours
of nearly every day, lunching with them, dining with them, walking with
them, driving with them, and above all playing bridge with them in one
of our sitting rooms in the hotel.

I knew nothing of the game to begin with, never having touched a card in
my life, but in accordance with the theories which I believed to be
right and the duties I had imposed upon myself, I took a hand with my
husband when he could find nobody better to be his partner.

The results were very disheartening. In spite of my desire to please I
was slow to learn, and my husband's impatience with my mistakes, which
confused and inti