ontemporary in "Hints
to M.P.'s," "where an attendant will take your coat and hat." So
different from those other political clubs where another member
usually takes them.

***

SHAKSPEARE on Glasgow: "For this relief much tanks.".

***

The salute, says a correspondent, is being reintroduced into the
German Army. Kicking an officer on the parade-ground for other than
political reasons is also forbidden.

***

The Consumers' Council urge, _inter alia,_ "that the Food Ministry
ought to be retained so long as there is any need of food control."
This view is regarded as entirely too narrow by officials of the
Ministry, who feel that the public is just beginning to love them for
themselves alone.

***

A sale of ninety specially-selected mules is announced to take place
at Tattersall's to-morrow. In the technical language of the live-stock
trade a "specially-selected" mule is one which has a clear reach of
six feet at either end.

***

"The Government must say what it will do," states _The Daily Mail_.
Waiting for _The Daily Mail_ to say it first must not be allowed to
degenerate into a mere mechanical habit.

***

For impersonating a voter a carpenter of Gloucester has just been
sentenced to a month's imprisonment. Where he succeeded in obtaining
the disguise from is not known.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHEN TAKING A NEW HOUSE ALWAYS EMPLOY A PROFESSIONAL
DRAUGHT DETECTOR.]

* * * * *

A LOVE TRAGEDY.

He was a smart new clinical thermometer. She was a pretty nurse in
an influenza ward. His figurings were clear and his quicksilver
glittered. Her eyes were blue and a little curl peeped from under her
cap. He fell madly in love with her; and when her dainty fingers toyed
with him his little heart swelled to bursting and he registered all he
could.

So when she took her morning temperatures her patients were
desperately high, and when the other nurse took them in the evening
they were three degrees lower; and the doctors were much perplexed.

They put the love-struck thermometer in a tumbler of warm water with
two others to test him; and, freed from her influence, he recorded
correctly. Learned authorities on medical research meditated
pamphlets, on the new variation of the universal plague.

Then came a morning when the pretty nurse, after too many cigarettes
the night before, took her own te