lization; but how about your
fleas?"

"Fleas!" sez he. "Hang the fleas! I'll tell you about them. The devil
He tried an experiment; he wanted a place so fine to live in that man
wouldn't have no inducement to try to get to heaven; so he studied all
the cities an' the towns--an' then he made Frisco. The experiment
worked to perfection; everybody what lived there was perfectly
satisfied, an' the preachers couldn't make 'em believe 'at any place
could be any better. But the good Lord, he was powerful fond o' the
Friscoites, so he finally figgered out the little red flea--an' then
even Frisco had a drawback; not enough to give the town anything of a
black eye; just enough to leave one little talkin'-point in favor of
everlastin' bliss."

Well, these here fleas was consid'able of a talkin'-point with me all
right when I was takin' the part of a canned knight. They used to
congregate together in the valley between my shoulder-blades, an' I'd
get off an' back up again a lamp-post, but it wa'n't no use. I couldn't
reach 'em, an' the' ain't no way on earth to scare 'em. Finally I hit
upon a plan of wearin' a couple o' feet o' chain down the back o' my
neck an' givin' it a jerk now an' again. It was only just moderately
comfortable; but I had the satisfaction of knowin' that it was more of
a bother to them than it was to me. A suit of armor ain't no tenement
house, it's only meant for one. But when they got on my face they had
me beat. I'd forget all about bein' sealed up, an' I'd take a smash at
one an' bat the kettle over again my forehead until I had both eyebrows
knocked out o' line.

I carried a spear with a little flag on it, an' rode a hoss built like
a barrel. He had been in the brewery business all his life an' looked
the part. About the only item in the whole parade that put me in mind
of myself was my lariat. I smuggled that along for company, an' so I'd
have somethin' to work with, provided anything turned up.

Fatty had give me a book called "Ivanhoe" the night before I started
out, an' it was full o' pictures about knights knockin' each other
about with spears; an' I bet a hat it was fun to be a real one an' not
have no tobacco to advertise, but just nothin' to do except jab each
other with spears. I reckon a corkin' good one like Ivanhoe himself or
the Black Knight got more 'an three a day for it too; but the one best
bet is, that the vigilance committee those days didn't take on much
superfluous fat.

I enj