doctor the rope
tightened up with me an' the brewer square behind. It didn't last long;
the' was only one cinch to the saddle, an' the first jerk had purty
well discouraged that; the brewer had grew suspicious an' all four of
his feet was dug into the cobble stones; the wagon was lopin' along
about ninety miles a second, an' when the tug came me an' the saddle
an' the tinware an' about four thousand plugs o' tobacco made a
half-circle in the air an' plunged through the first story winder onto
the dinin'-table--an' the family was at dinner.

Nobody was hurt; but I wish you could have seen the eyes o' that
family--an' their hands--yes, an' their tonsils too. They didn't seem
fully prepared. After a time the doctor got his heart to pumpin' again,
an' he roars out, "Vat are you doin'--vat are you doin'?"

"I'm advertisin' tobacco," sez I, tryin' to cut the kettle off my head
with a fruit-knife.

Then he did the wind-mill act with his hands an' rolled up his eyes an'
sez, "Vell, mine Cott, man, dis iss no vay to atfertice dobaggo!"

"Mebbe not, ol' sport," sez I, thinkin' o' the way that wagon had dove
into his office, an' takin' a general survey o' the dinner table; "but
if you're game at all you got to own up it makes a strong impression."

He was a comical little cuss, an' it amused me a heap to see how
excited he was. He splutered an' fizzed away like a leaky sody
fountain, while the rest o' the tribe kept up a most infernal squawkin'.

By the time I had the tobacco an' the balance o' the trimmin's picked
up an' got back to the street again I found the rest o' the population
gathered together to see who was holdin' the celebration; an' from that
on my stay in the city was a nightmare. The passengers in the car gave
me gold watches an' champagne suppers, the Jew doctor wore himself to a
bone tryin' to find out whether it was me, the lumber company, or the
tobacco firm which had to pay the piper; while the newspaper reporters
pumped me as dry as the desert. The tobacco company kept me on double
pay, because when it came to what they call a publicity agent I had
played every winnin' number open an' coppered all the ones that lost.

That car had been loaded with a group o' the real, genuine
gold-sweaters, an' they entered into a fierce competition to see which
could load me down with the finest watch an' load me up with the finest
champagne. They got me to make 'em after-dinner speeches an' do fancy
stunts with my raw